Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Why the hell is my laundry bin always full? I’m not even going anywhere.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Currently looking for tickets for the first flight back to the ’90s.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I don’t care if my parents are disappointed in me, I’m not impressed by them either.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Second day without coffee. I can no longer hear out of my left eye.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

220 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,489

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,489

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

When phones were tied with wires, people were free. Now that phones are wireless, people are tied.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I am convinced that size matters, especially when it comes to the heart.

Breaking via Reddit:

I find myself thinking “God, I need a cigarette” way too often for someone who doesn’t actually smoke.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Buying groceries with no food stamps should boost your credit score.

Just landed via Threads:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Shared recently on Slack:

Staring at the sky for answers, nothing new.

Just landed via Threads:

Accidentally clicked a post about UFOs, and now my Facebook algorithm thinks I’m a much different person.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My talents are so hidden that I can’t even find them.

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Animal whisperer by day, expert people avoider by night! 😂🙈👋🐶

animal, anxiety, avoid, away, contact, eye, eye contact, greeting, hello, hope, humor, i, instinct, introvert, person, say, social, social anxiety

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

0

6 months ago

humor, irony, lifelong, peace, possibility, romantic, solitude, true
I get writer’s block responding to people.

0

2 months ago

block, communication, difficulty, humor, i, interaction, people, responding, response, response difficulty, social, social interaction, writer’s block, writers, writing
Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

0

2 months ago

actually, awkward, basic, humor, most, photo, photography, photos, posing, self-confidence, self-image, selfie, talent, terrible, thing
Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

0

3 days ago

anxiety, bomb, chest, demand, forgot, humor, panic, strapped, stress, ticking, ticking bomb
Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

0

2 months ago

bro, dinner, eating, fault, feel, guilt, guilty, house, humor, hungry, i, irony, lifestyle, making, rapper, rappers, reason, responsibility, streets
If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

0

2 months ago

advice, birthday, forget, forgetting, humor, just, marriage, never, relationship, sure, want, wife

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

20 shares on Telegram this month:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

97 shares on X this month:

Sorry, my face wasn’t created to hide that much distain for what you’re saying.

85 shares on Threads this month:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

45 shares on Slack this month:

Please text me back. I’m about to start making stuff up in my head, and the stuff is all bad.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not enjoying this slow-burn apocalypse. I need it over and done like a popular Netflix show.

67 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

38 shares on Pinterest this month:

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Friendly reminder to drink your water and mind your business this week.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

67 shares on Threads this month:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Okay, this integrity isn’t going to compromise itself.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

I held the door for an old person today and he was like, “didn’t we go to high school together” and we did.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Get in loser, we’re going overthinking.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

70% of marriage is yelling “What” from a different room.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Real introverts are too introverted to tell people they’re introverts.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Trending via Slack:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Just shared via Twitch:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

Going viral on X:

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Making waves on Instagram:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Making waves on Reddit:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say “hello.” My first instinct when I see a person is to avoid eye contact and hope it goes away.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

True romantics have made peace with the possibility of lifelong solitude.

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Totally forgot my demands now that I’ve strapped this ticking bomb to my chest.

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨