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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Wiping my hands on my pants before I’m shaking someone’s hand, so they spend the rest of the day wondering what I just touched.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Home is where the tap water doesn’t taste funny.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I wonder if my bank account thinks about me and has panic attacks.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

My girlfriend wants us to try couples counseling and I said we should use my therapist because he already knows what’s wrong with her.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Making waves on Telegram:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

Trending via Reddit:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Just landed via Facebook:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if you’re a confident liar.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Take a broken girl, fix her. And she will go back to the same guy again.

Breaking via Twitch:

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Human hibernation should be a thing.

Just landed via TikTok:

I bought a little notebook to keep track of who’s above the law.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

My favorite animal is me when my feelings are hurt.

Just shared via WeChat:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When you realize you're not the only one enjoying a midnight staring contest! 👀😂

anxiety, creepiness, fear, looking, me, night, paranoia, right, someone, stranger, window, worst

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

0

2 months ago

away, comparison, doing, humor, i, irony, life, same, sarcasm, self-deprecating, thing, waste, wasting, witty
Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

0

2 months ago

accessory, attitude, communication, fashion, front, got, humor, important, listen, say, shirt, something, style, sunglasses, wardrobe
When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

0

2 months ago

celebration, excitement, fireworks, fun, hiss, invention, making, sound, wheee
I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

0

5 months ago

activity, adult, adults, break, close, fun, fun activity, i, job, jobs, just, months, need, outside, play, please, relaxation, summer, summer vacation, think, three, tired, vacation
I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

0

2 months ago

being, body, buy, clothes, fashion, humor, i, model, new, option, shopping, think, time, too
Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

0

2 months ago

attention, being, catering, exactly, fall, family, hack, humor, i, life, life hack, needs, nice, situation, stairs, sure, whole

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

58 shares on Threads this month:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

97 shares on Snapchat this month:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

74 shares on Twitch this month:

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

I love saying “You’re welcome!” really loudly when someone hasn’t thanked me.

30 shares on Threads this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People should come with warning labels.

51 shares on Discord this month:

Imagine you go bowling by yourself and you go sit down, but it’s your turn again.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Hello darkness, my old friend. Why are you here? It’s 6:00 pm.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine won’t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Life is so draining, you fix one problem, here come 12 more.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Flying bugs can basically go anywhere they want, but still choose to fly right into your face.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

“I need a movie where the villain actually won!” Have you tried watching the news?

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

Can’t believe I didn’t get invited to that party I would have made up an excuse not to go to.

Going viral on X:

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The angel and devil on my shoulders are both completely fed up with me.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Tip on how best to start a conversation with me: Not at all.

Spotted on Telegram:

Your favorite little ball of silliness has logged in.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

Just landed via Reddit:

It’s not fair when attractive people are also good at things.

Just landed via WeChat:

I don’t rise and shine. I caffeinate and hope.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My worst fear is looking out my window at night, and someone looking right at me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

While you were rotting and wasting your life away, I was doing the exact same thing.

Listen up. If he hooks his sunglasses in the front collar of his shirt, he’s got something important to say.

When fireworks were invented, it was ‘hisssss’ to ‘wheeeee’ in the making.

I think adults need summer vacation. Like, let’s just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I’m so tired.

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Not sure if “life hack” exactly, but I fell down the stairs and now my whole family is being so nice and catering to my needs.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨