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Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Hereโ€™s an even bigger Q4 number that youโ€™ll be fired for missing.

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Somebody somewhere today donโ€™t know itโ€™s their last day with all 10 fingers.

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“What’s your blood type?” I don’t know, boiling!

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Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

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Sunday without HBO feels like a meal without carbs โ€” empty and deeply wrong.

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Ruin a perfectly nice trip out with your child by bringing your child.

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Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

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With great power comes a great electricity bill.

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Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

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I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

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Not photogenic, but I probably look soooo good as a distant memory.

Witty quote about feeling forgettable yet charming as a distant memory.

Commentary:
As long as I'm remembered like a renaissance painting, I'll take it! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ–ผ๏ธ



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Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ช has bookmarked:

All the world’s a stage, and I always forget my line.

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I dare you to try and be more single than me.

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My biggest motivation for getting out of bed in the morning is knowing that I will eventually be able to get back in the bed.

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Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

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The goal is never Gucci bags. It’s acres of land.

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I feel bad for those that donโ€™t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

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The 70s, 80s, and 90s were the best decades – so many memories, no evidence.

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Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

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Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

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Relationship status: he escaped.

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