Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

I firmly believe that at this point my guardian angel is just eating popcorn and watching the drama.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has copied:

Who can better express pain and grief and misery than a man with a harmonica?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,944

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Reddit:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Forget the alarm clock. Just give me the smell of bacon and coffee.

Breaking via TikTok:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Making waves on Facebook:

Someone tongue kissed me recently in a way I can only describe as 5th base.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Nobody told me that it takes 1-2 business days to put a snow outfit on a toddler.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Flour company: What if we sell it in a paper bag that’s not fully sealed at the bottom?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Making waves on TikTok:

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

At the gym and I forgot my headphones and now I have to listen to my own thoughts. Send help.

More funny quotes 👇

I drive like I’m immortal.

0

5 months ago

drive, driving, humor, i, immortality, reckless, reckless driving
You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

0

5 months ago

anything, early, humor, leadership, management, meeting, meetings, motivation, person, productivity, time, time management, work
My girlfriend? You wouldn’t know her, she’s in a different data center.

0

5 months ago

center, data, data center, different, girlfriend, humor, joke, know, relationship, tech, tech joke
I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

0

5 months ago

advice, deodorant, humor, hygiene, i, know, life, situation, still, tough, tough situation, wear
“Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

0

5 months ago

commentary, feel, humor, normalize, once, sarcasm, shame, social, social commentary
Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

0

5 months ago

being, city, different, else, expense, expensive, family, humor, kid, kids, parenting, price, price tag, put, tag, travel, ungrateful, vacation
Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

0

5 months ago

give, humor, plot, plot twist, sign, twist, universe, waiting
Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

0

5 months ago

apology, communication, ghost, ghosted, ghosting, humor, i, interaction, just, me, relationship, social, social interaction, sorry
Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

0

5 months ago

cheeky, fishnet, humor, little, orange, oranges, playful, ripping, slutty
Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

0

5 months ago

artist, artists, band, big, calling, fan, humor, last, music, name, nickname

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on TikTok this month:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

Most people think that I’m arrogant, but who cares what peasants think.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Me: “I should treat myself to something.” My bank account: “Dream on.”

83 shares on Messenger this month:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

81 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

34 shares on Telegram this month:

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

87 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

My bank account is also in retrograde.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

My brain is on airplane mode today.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Welcome to college, where every single person is smarter than you, except for the three people in your group project.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

How long are you allowed to hide in the bathroom during family visits?

Just shared via YouTube:

Some people are so fake, their lock screens don’t recognize them.

Going viral on Discord:

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Going viral on Snapchat:

It’s so foggy outside. Y’all gotta stop vaping.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m perfectly approachable as long as you’re carrying a plate of nachos.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m naturally funny cause my whole life is a joke.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Trending via WeChat:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

Spotted on Telegram:

Since I tolerate gluten and lactose well, I can afford a few intolerances in the interpersonal area.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨