Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

A woman’s way of flirting is thinking about you until you get the urge to reach out to her.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Getting married soon. Just need a spouse.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Another beautiful day, ruined by responsibility.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Growing up, I always knew I was gonna be the distant family member.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

4,061

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Trending via Threads:

Do you think protein wants to be in all these things?

Trending via Instagram:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Just shared via Instagram:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Thank you for your password, now we are going to text you another password, then put that one in. Click ‘remember this computer’ so we can forget it.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Seen just now on Slack:

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

Going viral on Reddit:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Trending via Discord:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Spotted on Reddit:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

More funny quotes 👇

No, you don’t understand. This is my special mistake. I keep making it because it is very dear to me, like an old friend.

0

5 months ago

affection, flaw, friend, friendship, humor, i, keep, love, making, me, mistake, old, old friend, personal, personal flaw, repetition, special, special mistake, understand
An escape room, but it’s just your thoughts. Good luck.

0

5 months ago

challenge, escape, escape room, game, good, humor, just, luck, mental, mental game, mind, room, thought, thoughts
Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

0

5 months ago

acceptance, ever, feel, guilt, guilty, guilty pleasure, humor, i, pleasure, self, self-acceptance, why
Every time I leave the house, I’m reminded why sweatpants exist.

0

5 months ago

casualwear, comfort, every, exist, fashion, house, humor, i, leave, leaving, sweatpant, sweatpants, time, why
Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

0

5 months ago

dating, finding, funny story, guy, humor, i, interaction, lived, match, neighbor, neighborhood, once, outside, scream, social, social interaction, story, told
All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

0

5 months ago

bra, bras, clothing, fashion, humor, need, problem, recall, shopping, strapless, strapless bra, taken, technology
One day my sanity went out for smokes and never came back.

0

5 months ago

absence, addiction, back, came, day, health, humor, loss, mental, mental health, mind, never, sanity, smoke
Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

0

5 months ago

alone, bed, different, discomfort, feels, i, know, last, means, myself, neck, neck pain, night, pain, sleep, spot, weird
Relationship status: the black mold in my shower thinks I’m cute.

0

5 months ago

black, black mold, cute, humor, life, mold, relationship, relationship status, self-deprecation, shower, single, single life, status
Just got revenge on someone who wronged me many, many years ago. Never relax, I’m coming.

0

5 months ago

ago, comeback, coming, got, humor, just, me, never, patience, payback, persistence, relax, revenge, someone, threat, wronged

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shout out to everyone who cooks at 180°C for 20 minutes, no matter what the instructions say.

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

18 shares on Threads this month:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

64 shares on Instagram this month:

My teen is asking for noise-cancelling headphones like I’m going to give him the gift of ignoring me better.

49 shares on Reddit this month:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

96 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

14 shares on WeChat this month:

Tomorrow isn’t promised, so eat that cake today.

97 shares on WhatsApp this month:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Stop blaming everyone for your problems. Pick one person you really hate and blame them for everything.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, then honestly, you’re missing out because that’s when my jokes and bits get really, really good.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Getting sent money you didn’t ask for is very sexy.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I don’t want to do exercise, but I want to have done exercise.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Just shared via Telegram:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Trending via Pinterest:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Just landed via Instagram:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Going bananas on WeChat:

When I say “I’m open to feedback” I mean “I accept compliments.”

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Trending via Snapchat:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨