Commentary:
When you find the answer, direct me to the secret pasta society meeting. 🍝🙈
I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.
Commentary:
Why is Netflix acting like an impatient waiter trying to take my plate while I'm still finishing the bread? 🍿😅📚
Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?
Commentary:
Remembering those days when teachers doubled as restroom gatekeepers 🤔🚪 Who knew bladder control was part of the curriculum? 😂🚽📚
When someone loses something, I like to ask helpful questions like ‘Where did you last see it?’ and ‘Where did you put it?’ and ‘Where is it?’
Commentary:
Asking the deep questions! Next on my list: "Have you tried asking the universe?" 🤔🔍✨
If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?
Commentary:
Sounds like a family game of "Guess Who?" but with footsteps instead of faces! 👣😂
“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.
Commentary:
Ah, the dishwasher initiation rite! May you emerge stronger and only slightly more water-resistant! 🚿😂🔄
Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”
Commentary:
Trying to flirt your way out of eternal damnation: Noted. 😈😂
When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.
Commentary:
Sharks, squids, and mysteries? I'm just here for the suntan and the beach selfies! 🦈🌊📸
Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.
Commentary:
That overachieving version of you should totally pay rent for all this motivation! 🏠💪😄
69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.
Commentary:
Dinner for two: where the candlelight is low and the stakes are questionable! 🍽️🥩🔥