Commentary:
All aboard the AI Express! We'd have trains so smart, they'd start offering career advice. 🚂🤖💰
A man will beg you to take him back just to act right for 5 days and 24 min.
Commentary:
Sounds like he's got a 5-day free trial, but forgot to cancel the subscription! 😂⏳
Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”
Commentary:
Haha, because who doesn't dream of being a spreadsheet superhero as a kid? 😂📈🦸♂️
Brother: What are you bringing to Thanksgiving dinner? Me: Wine and unresolved issues. They pair nicely.
It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.
Commentary:
Sounds like my favorite activity: competitive ceiling staring! 😜🛌🌌
Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!
Commentary:
Love those winter time blackouts! Where else can you binge-watch guilt-free and feel like a time traveler? 🍿🕰️🌌
Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.
Commentary:
Finally, a place where even the pop-up ads get a 'page-turner'! 📚🤣
You looked so beautiful and combative as we were detained for questioning.
Commentary:
Getting fashion tips for when I'm interrogated next! 😆🕵️♂️🔍
Y’all aren’t taking beautiful women to jazz clubs anymore, and that’s the problem.
Commentary:
Taking notes for my next date: destination jazz club. 💃🎷 Guess it's time to swap Netflix for a sax solo! 🎶😄
I’m so single right now that I stood on a cliff and shouted, “I love you,” and my echo replied, “I just wanna be friends.”
Commentary:
When even your echo puts you in the friend zone 😂🌬️ #ForeverAlone