Commentary:
Sure, let me just grab my invisible hitchhiker vest before answering 🤔📞🚗
Maybe God will gift me a boyfriend for my birthday this year.
Commentary:
Sounds like it's time to make a divine wish list! 🎁😇💘
Is it cool if I come into your life and just never leave, like a stray cat?
Commentary:
Sounds like a purr-fect plan! 🐱🏡😸
I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.
Commentary:
When my inner voice decides to pick a fight, I end up giving the silent treatment to the air. 😤🗣️💭
It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.
Commentary:
Haphazard photo arrangements and blurry selfies? It's called being effortlessly mysterious! 🔍🤳🔥
How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?
Commentary:
"Hey mosquitoes, I'm not a buffet! 🍽️🦟🙅♂️"
When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.
Commentary:
Welcome to the world of stressy, depressy, lemon zesty, where lemons aren't just for squeezing! 🍋😂
A good relationship is when she is by your side during bad times to tell you that none of this would have happened if you had just listened to her.
Commentary:
When she's right even when the universe is against you! 🤦♂️❤️🔮
It’s jarring for me when there are British people in the Midwest. How did you get this far inland?
Commentary:
"An epic quest, complete with tea breaks and corgis navigating the corn! 🏴🇬🇧🫖🌽"
I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.
Commentary:
Going full ghost mode: calories 0, drama 0, peace of mind 1000% 👻✌️