Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Have we checked all food to see if exploding it makes it into something better or did we just stop with corn?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I wish I lived in a sitcom, and my friends just barged into my apartment uninvited.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

Going out to eat and shopping by yourself is actually one of the most peaceful and therapeutic things ever.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

My save-for-later cart on Amazon is up to about $1.5 million dollars.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

509 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,102

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,102

Updated

Dec 24, 2025

Users Online

3,681

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Freshly posted on Threads:

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Seen just now on TikTok:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I would do absolutely anything to get 8 hours of sleep, except for going to bed 8 hours before I need to wake up.

Trending via WeChat:

If you’re gonna spend so much time in my head, would it kill you to tidy up a bit?

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

People will be like “Nobody cares about your Spotify Wrapped,” and then post a picture of their baby.

Broadcasted on Threads:

I had a marvelous time ruining everything.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I downloaded a meditation app. Now I’m stressed about missing sessions.

Going viral on Twitch:

My sneeze is the reason people in the middle ages believed sneezing was caused by demon possession.

More funny quotes 👇

The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

0

5 days ago

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game
Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

0

5 days ago

digital, digital rental, entertainment, frustration, humor, looking, movie, online, online shopping, oops, pay, prime, Prime Video, rental, say, shopping, streaming, subscription, video
The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

0

5 days ago

after, being, best, communication, debrief, event, having, marriage, married, person, relationship, social, social event, spouse
In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

0

5 days ago

freedom, home, humor, literally, observation, student, tell, university
Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

0

5 days ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
Dear music, thanks!

0

5 days ago

dear, gratitude, humor, music, thanks
The peace of not knowing.

0

5 days ago

calmness, humor, ignorance, irony, knowing, peace
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

0

5 days ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

0

5 days ago

everyone, excited, excitement, gift, giving, holiday, humor, opinion, present, presents, sarcasm, year
We need a slur for people that use AI.

0

5 days ago

AI, humor, language, need, people, slang, slur, technology, technology user, user

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

98 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

59 shares on Twitch this month:

This morning, like every morning, he practiced his quick draw of his finger guns in the bathroom mirror, because you just never know.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

74 shares on Discord this month:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

38 shares on Slack this month:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

41 shares on X this month:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

You can add “cha cha cha” to any sentence you want without explaining yourself. Nobody really appreciates this.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I yelled at my cat and the other cats yelled at me. Like wow, okay, pay my mortgage then.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

Spotted on Slack:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

Just landed via Discord:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Just shared via Telegram:

I can’t go to war, I have to water my plants.

Spotted on Slack:

80 years ago we would have all been institutionalized and I think that’s beautiful.

Going viral on Threads:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Freshly posted on X:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨