Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Dating outside of your education bracket leads to misunderstandings and arguments.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Home: Where I can look ugly and not care.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I want to be rich enough where I’m not offended by the price of beef jerky.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Some people find it strange when you talk to your pet. I find conversations with some people much stranger.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

My big 3? Yapping, napping & snacking!

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Thought I would mix things up today and sit in a new spot on my couch. Absolute chaos over here.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,996

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Also shame on you. Stop foolin’ me, I am pure.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Saving up ketchup packets in the fridge so I can one day open my own restaurant.

Going bananas on Telegram:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here playing with my arm fat.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Spotted on X:

Typos is the Greek god of spelling errors.

Spotted on X:

White elephant: Nothing brings people together like fighting over absolute garbage.

Making waves on Slack:

Just blocked all the ugly people, so if you see this… what’s up, big sexy?

Spotted on Telegram:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Just saw two identical twins out in public together. No disrespect to that lifestyle but please keep it private.

More funny quotes 👇

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

0

5 days ago

attraction, fanfic, fun, humor, i, reading, real, romance, romantic, thinking, wish, wishful, wishful thinking
You amuse me, Jester. You may enter my bed chambers.

0

5 days ago

amusement, bed, bed chamber, chamber, enter, flirtation, humor, jester, me, medieval
Guess I’ll be getting the same thing for Christmas, again. Fat!

0

5 days ago

again, Christmas, fat, getting, gift, guess, holiday, humor, joke, repetition, same, self-deprecation, thing
Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

0

5 days ago

asleep, break, cat, funny situation, media, phone, situation, sleep, social, social media
I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

0

5 days ago

animal, animals, human, humor, i, just, ones, sarcasm, smile
Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

0

5 days ago

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” is a beautiful, powerful sentiment that I fully ignore when book shopping.

0

5 days ago

beautiful, book, cover, humor, i, ignore, judge, judgment, powerful, sentiment, shopping
Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

0

5 days ago

companionship, fur, having, home, humor, imagine, pet, someone
The world started without permission again.

0

5 days ago

again, event, humor, permission, sarcasm, started, unexpected, unexpected event, world
The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

0

5 days ago

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Ever feel like you’re adulting, but only on the outside? Inside, you’re just a kid hoping someone else will make dinner.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

45 shares on X this month:

If you play guitar in a band, always make sure to look like it hurts to play.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Having a bathroom switch outside a bathroom and a sibling is a bad combination.

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

29 shares on Telegram this month:

Relationship Status: just tried to pet my dog and he turned his head so I pretended I was reaching for a leaf that was next to him.

72 shares on X this month:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

93 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

21 shares on Facebook this month:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

In my defense, Your Honor, I was left unsupervised.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Stay an extra hour in the office and no one cares. Arrive a few minutes late and everyone loses their minds.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Fact: cats sit on your lap to dominate you.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Sometimes I want to sleep, but my brain decides to do a little tap dance through every mistake I’ve ever made, instead.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Shared recently on Slack:

She asked to see where the magic happens, so I showed her my sandwich maker.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Next on Tiny Houses: A family of 6 moves into a boat emoji.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Seen just now on Slack:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Going viral on Reddit:

The highlight of my weekends is slipping into something more comfortable and putting my feet up.

Trending via Discord:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨