I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Girls with long hair will literally leave little traces of themselves wherever they go, like feathers falling from an angel’s wings. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Getting your hair washed by someone else is one of life’s greatest joys no one really speaks about often. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally. Posted onMay 19, 2026
My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Bugs Bunny was my introduction to opera. Can’t say I’ve kept up with it much since. Posted onMay 19, 2026
I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice? Posted onMay 19, 2026
My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately. Posted onMay 19, 2026
Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well. Posted onMay 19, 2026
My favorite part about standing in line is watching the other lines move more quickly. Posted onMay 19, 2026