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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Getting the house to yourself for a night is basically winning the lottery.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Girls will be like “I have so much to do” then grab some snacks and start watching a 10 part docuseries on serial killers.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

I unload the dishwasher backwards… just to feel something.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If you’re cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and continue to participate in family game night.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

I don’t mind driving in bad weather. I mind other people driving in bad weather.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,246

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

Have you ever met someone and thought that you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life without them?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Can I come over and be your midnight snack?

Live now on Slack:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Just shared via Slack:

Getting an entry-level job before the release of ChatGPT in 2022 was like taking the last chopper out of Vietnam. Few realize this yet.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I was going to learn to play the violin, but it was too much of a commitment. I wanted something with no strings attached.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Angry on the internet” is such an unfortunate personality.

Going bananas on Threads:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t have red flags, I have fun facts.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.

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Recovering people pleasers will be like, “I’m in my villain era!” and it’s just politely drawing healthy boundaries.
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Commentary:
Embracing my "noble antagonist" phase one courteous boundary at a time 😈✨💁‍♀️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on WeChat this month:

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

The part where the music beat is going from your left ear to the right at different intervals.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Asking myself if that was too weird after I hit send.

56 shares on TikTok this month:

Bartender asked me to give his place a one-star Google review to keep the vibe lowkey. Insane method.

23 shares on X this month:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

83 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

97 shares on Slack this month:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

81 shares on Threads this month:

It’s not my job to tell people where they’re failing in life. It’s just a hobby.

89 shares on Threads this month:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of not watching the news.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You call it nagging, I call it ‘listen to what I said the first time!’

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,293

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Be the lemon you want the world to hand to others.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Notifications are a reminder that you exist.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I was born tired, and I will die tired. If I ever tell you I’m not tired, I’m probably lying.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has copied:

I love that my dog always comes home from the groomer wearing a bandana. It’s like he was only gone for three hours, but joined a gang in that time.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I didn’t forget about you; my algorithm did.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

I always bring luggage when visiting my mom because I know she’ll send me on a guilt trip.

Going bananas on Discord:

What would boomers do without their paper shredder?

Going bananas on Reddit:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Live now on WeChat:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Overheard the most hilarious conversation on my morning commute, then realized it was just me talking to myself in my car.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Only thing that can cure my depression is $500 million.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The best part about getting added to a group chat is leaving two weeks later.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Seen just now on Twitch:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

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