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Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Fake laughing at work is exhausting as hell, just leave me alone, bro.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Rewatching Avengers: Age of Ultron. Despite the title, they never tell you how old Ultron is.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Men will ruin your whole life and come back and like your Instagram story.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

He just walked right into my heart and switched on the lights.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

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17,766

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15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

Welcome to your 40s. Your bra wins the Oscar for the best actor in a supportive role.

Just landed via Telegram:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Breaking via Instagram:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Just landed via WeChat:

I can’t wait to buy Chanel bags on a random Tuesday for me and my friends.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I am physically, mentally and emotionally ready to enter a new phase in my life…. hibernation.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Notice how Lorde has a song called “Tennis Court” and not “Pickleball Court”? Tired of y’all pushing that fake sport.

Just shared via WeChat:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Trending via TikTok:

That drum solo from In the Air Tonight, but it’s me just slapping my tummy, waiting for the microwave to beep.

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

3 weeks ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about dating challenges, balancing mental health humor with playful sarcasm.

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Commentary:
When you're looking for a soulmate and trying to dodge a sanity grenade 😂🔍💘🚫💥

dating, enough, finding, hard, health, humor, illness, life, mental, mental health, mental illness, mentally, relationship, ruin, someone, understand, understanding

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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on YouTube this month:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Life hack: Confuse your doctor by putting on gloves at the same time he does.

11 shares on Instagram this month:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

After my funeral, I want one of my friends to take my phone and text everyone, “Thanks for coming.”

36 shares on Discord this month:

If they cancel the Simpsons, we will no longer be able to see into the future.

25 shares on TikTok this month:

If I had a tiny girlfriend, I would love to throw her across gaps so she can pull levers and open doors that get me to her part of the level.

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Preparing for the apocalypse by becoming fluent in zombie.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Idiocracy wasn’t supposed to be a documentary.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

By now, we’ve all figured out that these LED bulbs don’t actually last 15 years, but we’ve collectively decided to just let it slide.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

You never forget your first kiss. Or your first meeting with HR.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Twitch:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Serious replies to silly posts are now illegal. Go talk to your wife.

Trending via Twitch:

The best time to start a family fight is now. It gets you out of buying relatives gifts.

Making waves on Threads:

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

Seen just now on Reddit:

When you decorate your whole house for Christmas, what you’re really saying is “I’m not going to dust for at least a month.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

I’m the type of husband that helps his wife look for her missing chocolate that I ate.

Making waves on Telegram:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Suicide is never the answer, you gotta outlive your enemies.

Just shared via Messenger:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

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Activity Log ✨

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Keep the laugh going 😂

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Isn’t it beautiful how ‘Bruh’ has stood the test of time all these years.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨