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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

My playlist so bipolar. We either in love, depressed, or gang members.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Hello bedtime my old friend, my brain is laughing once again.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Aging gracefully is like getting steamrolled gracefully, you should really be screaming.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I’m going to try and be less of a people pleaser, is everyone ok with that?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Pinterest recipe so long that it’s now a limited series on Netflix.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I look stable, but I talk to animals and wait for them to reply.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

34 minutes ago

3,419

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If your problem can’t be fixed by coffee, tequila or sex then I’m out of advice.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’m always best at the things I shouldn’t do.

Making waves on Facebook:

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Trending via Reddit:

The urge to say “yeah, you should do that”, especially when you have no clue.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Mambo No. 5, but it’s in a minor key, and I’m naming women who didn’t text me back.

Making waves on Slack:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Trending via Twitch:

Your pronouns should be get/help.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Introducing two cats is tedium. Not interested in your dumb politics just lick each other and be normal already.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

6 months ago

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

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Commentary:
😂🎄 "Ah, the classic Christmas eve panic, where last-minute shopping becomes an extreme sport! 'Well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner' is like the holiday version of 'I told you so!' ❄️ Pro tip: stock up on eggnog and patience for those who find themselves in this jolly predicament!"

always, Christmas, eve, helpful, helpful phrase, holiday, holiday stress, humor, i, maybe, panic, phrase, should, someone, sooner, stress, thought, well

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

789 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,951

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,951

34 minutes ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

They are mad because you took that knife out of your back and used it to cut ties.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

If you think voting is pointless wait until you hear about writing posts here.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Everyone thinks they won’t be that couple that goes from ‘everything you do is a turn-on’ to ‘you’re breathing too loud,’ but they will be, oh, they will be.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Autocorrect changed ‘are you around?’ to ‘are you aroused?’ and my buddy didn’t want to hang out today.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Spiders have the whole world to explore but still try to come up in my house.

Just shared via Threads:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after a vacation.

Just landed via TikTok:

If your man cheats on you, dump him and date his dad, make him your step son.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Seen just now on Discord:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Reported on Telegram:

It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me.

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