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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Sometimes the best thing about my job is that my chair turns.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

To my beloved wife, I leave my circus and my monkeys.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I miss the days when our biggest argument was whether West Coast or East Coast rap was better.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

If there was a pill for procrastination… I’d probably take it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Why can’t more dumb people be shy?

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

I’m not old, I’m vintage.

Going viral on Threads:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Shared recently on Slack:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

4 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Why stop at "Your Majesty"? I call mine "Your Royal Napness" because all they do is rule the kingdom of Dreamland. 😺👑💤

best, cat, humor, name, pet, pet name, royalty

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

1 month ago

chef, cook, cooking, culinary, drink, food, humor, kitchen, wine
I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

1 month ago

before, coconut, even, halfway, home, humor, i, irony, purchase, realization, shampoo, thought, today
At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

1 month ago

age, break, fear, heartbreak, hip, humor, life, priorities
Your opinions are not my business.

1 month ago

boundary, business, humor, opinion, opinions, personal, personal space, sarcasm, space
A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

1 month ago

animal, architecture, beaver, humor, otter, study
Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

1 month ago

character, choices, food, humor, i, irony, pizza, say, slice, someone, something, sometimes, trust, unexpected

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

The note on this boxed wine says ‘Fresh up to 6 weeks after opening’. 6 weeks. Lol.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

If you’re not getting spoiled, then spoil yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

I’m not deleting my Twitter, I was here before Elon.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve barely tweeted your manic thoughts today.

Just shared via Messenger:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hot wings have killed many people starting with a dude named Icarus.

Making waves on Facebook:

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I know life can be tough, but you still gotta wear deodorant.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Your opinions are not my business.

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I want this laziness removed from my body.

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Saturdays are for doing absolutely everything or doing absolutely nothing, everybody knows that.

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Please pray for our son, who had to unload the dishwasher when “he just did this yesterday, and he’s tired.”

Time to get off the internet, I’ve already had enough stupid for the week.

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Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

I bought some coconut shampoo today. I got halfway home before I thought, “I don’t even have a coconut!”

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Your opinions are not my business.

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Sometimes I do something completely out of character, like say no to a slice of pizza, or trust someone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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