Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I only obey the traffic rules to get on other peoples’ nerves.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I need a browser plugin that disables Amazon when I’m drinking. Hashtag: don’t drink and Prime.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

In a relationship with my heated car seat.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Sexting is hilarious, when you think about it. Like, this email truly should’ve been a meeting.