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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

If I were lost and all I had was a compass, I would still be lost.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

A guy who never leaves his apartment so he can get the maximum value out of his rent.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I’m so toxic, I can fight for a relationship I don’t even want.

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15,753

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Updated

Feb 3, 2026

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Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Spotted on Discord:

Being a dog must be wild, everyone you meet is your masseuse.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Spotted on YouTube:

The concept of warding off vampires with crosses is so interesting to me. I wonder if it applies to any other religion or if they’re allergic to just Catholicism.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Hobbies include fake smiling while waiting for people to stop talking.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If I had a dollar for every time I didn’t know what was going on, I’d be like, why am I always getting all this money?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I’m super lazy today. It’s like normal lazy but I’m wearing a cape.

Just landed via Facebook:

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

1 day ago

Funny Quotes

Witty quote about positivity with a playful take on feng shui and internet slang.

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Commentary:
Balancing my energy one "lol" at a time! 😆🔮✨

communication, feng, Feng Shui, good, humor, internet, internet slang, lol, shui, slang, things

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31 shares on WeChat this month:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry I missed your call 8 months ago. Is everything okay?

57 shares on Facebook this month:

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

62 shares on WeChat this month:

Whoever said, “Laughter is the best medicine,” clearly never tried Revenge.

52 shares on Threads this month:

I wonder how much this “Never mind, it’s only 10 bucks” has already cost me?

90 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

40 shares on TikTok this month:

If you say “Excellent choice” after somebody selects a floor in an elevator, you can usually get a pity laugh.

35 shares on TikTok this month:

Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

31 shares on Reddit this month:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

If you wear glasses, we expect a lot from you academically, especially if your glasses have a rope.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Being single is better than asking a man to act like a man.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

Just so you know, what you now call an energy bar is what my father gave the canary.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m writing a book on the joys of drinking beer. So far I’ve been through a lot of drafts.

Just shared via Instagram:

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Hate Google’s Gemini. If I wanted to get misinformation from a Gemini, I’d talk to my mother.

Just shared via Snapchat:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate taking my pants off at the dentist. So humiliating.

Spotted on YouTube:

Unless it’s manic, I don’t want to hear about your Monday.

Going viral on TikTok:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I’d grow up to be a weird freak.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

Trending via Threads:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

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Activity Log ✨

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Adding lol to things is good feng shui.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The little umbrella is so unnecessary. Like, my drink is already wet, bro.

Showing my barber a picture of a dinosaur.

The lion does not concern himself with the few small drops of pee that got on his boxers at the urinal even after he did a few shakes to be sure.

Many people mistake me for an adult because of my age.

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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