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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

The date didnโ€™t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

My boss just left which means I have finished all of my work for the day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

โ€œAre you dating anyone?โ€ I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has copied:

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡จ has viewed:

Dear life, when I said “can this day get any worse” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I was very disappointed when I found out drinking alcohol doesnโ€™t actually kill brain cells, I was hoping to join a political party one day.

Making waves on Discord:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Patience is for beginners. I’d rather freak out straight away!

Shared recently on WeChat:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Going viral on YouTube:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Just landed via Instagram:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Seen just now on TikTok:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Shared recently on Slack:

You can talk about any topic for 30 mins if youโ€™re a confident liar.

Shared recently on X:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, Iโ€™m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Looks like the Amish are trying to butter us up with their desert escapades! ๐ŸŒต๐Ÿ•บ Who needs Burning Man when you've got Churning Man? Let's see if they can churn out some dance moves without electricity! ๐Ÿ’ƒโšก"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

797 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,959

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,959

Updated

36 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡น has downloaded:

Sorry Iโ€™m late. Had to scroll back to my birth year.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

The grass isn’t really greener over there; that’s just a filter.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

If I’m not spoken to, my morning grumpiness goes almost unnoticed.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has viewed:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has copied:

I hope Instagram is still active during the apocalypse, so the zombies can post pics of whose brains theyโ€™re currently eating.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ผ has downloaded:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think youโ€™re really cute.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ญ has copied:

Sometimes I wonder what happened to the people who asked me for directions.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฐ has copied:

Sorry, Iโ€™m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

Petition to lower the retirement age. Iโ€™m tired now.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Seen just now on TikTok:

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

Going viral on Reddit:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Someone told me I wasnโ€™t thinking clearly, as if thatโ€™s even an option.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Getting a nose ring, so I donโ€™t lose my keys.

Live now on Messenger:

My dating checklist is down to “not the Unabomber”.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

Making waves on Twitch:

Thinking of becoming the โ€œwhereโ€™s my hugโ€ guy in prison.

Spotted on YouTube:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If my son ever came out as gay, Iโ€™d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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