Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

Just eating the emotional support snickers bar in my purse. How about you?

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

There’ll be a time someone will convince you to watch Game of Thrones. It is very important that you listen to them and watch.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

My phone storage is full so I guess it’s time to delete the 27 second video I took of a spiderweb four years ago.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Nothing is smaller than the X on ads to click them away.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

Just shared via Messenger:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Broadcasted on Threads:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Trending via Slack:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” isn’t a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Going viral on Reddit:

Words I heard most when I ran errands with my dad: “Wait in the truck.”

Just landed via Pinterest:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

4 weeks ago

Humorous quote about aging, highlighting the confusion of bodily noises with playful wit.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Is it my joints or my morning cereal? 🤔🔍😂 #MysterySounds #SeniorSymphony"

age, aging, aging humor, being, body, body noise, coming, figure, health, humor, life, noise, old, old age, senior, senior life, trying, why

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

77 shares on YouTube this month:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

The most disturbing thing about waking up at 4 a.m. is realizing some people do this on purpose so they can exercise.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If bugs could talk, they would probably say things like, “What the bug?”

11 shares on Twitch this month:

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

53 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God, I was so happy when I was 18. I wasn’t at the time, but in retrospect I was.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

You ever got inside jokes with yourself, or is that schizophrenia?

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

55 shares on Threads this month:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

This bouncer’s lucky I’m with my lady and physically frightened of him or he’d be in a world of pain.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

“Devil’s advocate” implies the existence of heaven’s prosecutor.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Well, it took several decades, but I might have finally run out of things to say.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Just shared via Messenger:

Spotify Wrapped has a special talent for pulling up an artist I’ve literally never heard of and telling me I actually listen to them 2,000 times per day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Just shared via Discord:

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Books are so cool because there are no bloody ads in them.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Social media is mental suicide.

Trending via Slack:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Anyone who thinks office jobs are harmless has never cut their finger on paper.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Being old is basically trying to figure out what part of the body the noise is coming from, and why.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Did you know there are people who go away for 3 days and only pack 3 days’ worth of clothing?

I get jealous when I find someone playing a song I thought only I knew.

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨