Wordgag ใƒ„

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฝ has viewed:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has downloaded:

It’s okay to run away from the cops if you’re shy.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has viewed:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

My wife screamed โ€œyou havenโ€™t listened to a single word Iโ€™ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ช has viewed:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡พ๐Ÿ‡ช has copied:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has bookmarked:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฌ has bookmarked:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Just shared via Pinterest:

โ€œI read 20 books this year!โ€ Thatโ€™s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Just shared via Twitch:

All I want is to live well and to die in a manner so bizarre and gruesome it can only be described with a German word.

Spotted on YouTube:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Making waves on Reddit:

Turning regret into ulcers since the day I was born.

Spotted on Telegram:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Spotted on TikTok:

How did they get kids to pose for oil paintings? Mine wonโ€™t sit still for 4 seconds for a family photo.

Reported on X:

Iโ€™ve used dark mode so much that Iโ€™m physically repulsed by white screens now.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.
Download image โ†“

Commentary:
"Looks like this person is on a collision course with destiny – or maybe just needs to swipe left on fate! ๐Ÿ˜…๐Ÿ”„ Don't worry, love sometimes has a surprise plot twist in store! ๐Ÿ’–๐ŸŽญ #WrongTiming #RightPerson"

, , , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes ๐Ÿค

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ‘‡

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

Trending Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ“ˆ

Hot Funny Quotes ๐Ÿ”ฅ

Trending Topics ๐Ÿ“

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

Updated

5 hours ago

Users Online

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ผ๐Ÿ‡ธ has downloaded:

Before I die, Iโ€™m going to arrange for a friend to take my phone, and after the funeral, text everybody to say โ€œthanks for comingโ€ and other assorted messages of appreciation.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has shared:

Iโ€™m like a candle: Iโ€™m cute, I smell nice, and thereโ€™s a pretty good chance Iโ€™ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Biting your tongue while eating is a perfect example of how you can still screw up, even with decades of experience.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ซ has bookmarked:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ช๐Ÿ‡ฌ has viewed:

An air mattress is the best way to tell your houseguests not to stay too long.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Back in the good old days, we didnโ€™t have to trim our toenails, they just got wore down naturally from running from dinosaurs.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡น has shared:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ has copied:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has bookmarked:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on Slack:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Making waves on X:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if itโ€™s a good laundry day.

Going viral on Discord:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kidโ€™s apple.

Spotted on WeChat:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

Just landed via Messenger:

Job applications be like โ€œhow did you hear about us?โ€. Bro why, was it a secret?

Just shared via TikTok:

Drugs donโ€™t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I could have done without braces back then. What’s the point of having perfect teeth if I have no reason to smile?

Just shared via Threads:

You feel me? Bro, I haven’t felt anything since the Scholastic Book Fair.

Seen just now on X:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Trending via Slack:

Never understood when the movie rating says โ€œMay contain nudity.โ€ Are there people on the ratings board who arenโ€™t sure if they just saw someone naked?

Share Wordgag ๐Ÿ™

ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

Made with โค๏ธ in Sydney โ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒด