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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Іf you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember that nobody loves you on any other day of the year either.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

“This is a great weekend to clean out the garage,” according to my wife and other people who won’t be cleaning the garage.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

What part of “I need to save money” do I not understand?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,610

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Going viral on Messenger:

A two-step guide to warning someone not to hit their head: 1. Wait until they’ve hit their head. 2. Say “Ooh, mind your head!”

Shared recently on Facebook:

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Napping is the best activity for weight loss, because I can’t eat anything when I’m asleep!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Just landed via Slack:

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

It was the kind of movie that kept you on the edge of your seat, waiting for something interesting to happen.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Robot bartender rips me in half after listening to my problems for over an hour.

Just landed via Threads:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

It’s almost time to put away my black summer clothes and bring out my black fall clothes.

0

5 months ago

almost, away, black, black clothing, bring, change, clothes, clothing, clothing transition, fall, fashion, humor, put, seasonal, seasonal change, summer, time, transition, wardrobe
The funniest thing about Batman is that he legitimately doesn’t give a shit about crime that happens during the day.

0

2 months ago

Batman, crime, day, daytime, give, humor, indifference, shit, superhero, thing
Would it kill the makers of avocados to put a different toy inside?

0

2 months ago

avocado, complaint, different, humor, inside, kill, makers, novelty, put, surprise, toy
For Christmas, I’d like to figure it all out.

0

1 week ago

Christmas, confusion, figure, holiday, humor, ID, life, self-improvement, wish
An internship is only unpaid if you don’t steal enough.

0

2 months ago

employment, humor, internship, joke, satire, steal, unpaid, work
Pro tip: When you sign up for anything online, put the website’s name as your middle name. Now, when you receive spam, you will know who sold your data.

0

2 months ago

anything, data, data sale, data tracking, email, email spam, internet, internet security, know, middle, middle name, name, online, online signup, privacy, pro, pro-tip, put, sale, security, sign, signup, sold, spam, tip, tracking, website, website name, websites
5pm on a Friday: call me a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I’m not working.

0

2 months ago

5pm, call, Friday, humor, ice cream, joke, machine, McDonald’s, me, not working, weekend, working
Being naked with shoes on feels more naked than being totally naked.

0

2 months ago

being, clothing, comfort, feels, humor, irony, naked, nakedness, sh
The real hack is pouring all that lover girl energy into yourself.

0

1 month ago

empowerment, energy, girl, hack, humor, love, lover, real, self, self-love, yourself
I wish I had a friend like me.

0

2 months ago

companionship, friend, humor, i, me, relationship, self, wish

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Discord this month:

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Why do fruit flies be everywhere but at the supermarket? Ain’t that like their Golden Corral?

96 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

Nothing guarantees running into someone you know in public better than looking like a feral animal on two hours of sleep.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

Please pray for my daughter, who had to empty the dishwasher when she “just did this yesterday and she’s tired.”

34 shares on YouTube this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Perhaps we should have further developed natural intelligence before venturing into artificial intelligence.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

You’re in his DMs, so am I, but I am way funnier.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I don’t really care how you met your partner. Tell me about how you met your nemesis.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Due to personal reasons, I’ve decided to become your problem.

Just landed via Facebook:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Just shared via Telegram:

Had chicken and egg for dinner because I wanted to eat the whole family.

Trending via Pinterest:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Making waves on WeChat:

The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Just shared via WeChat:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

Just shared via YouTube:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨