Trendy Funny Quotes

  • I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.
  • Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.
  • My neighbor told me he heard me having sex this morning. I was putting on my shoes.
  • I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.
  • Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.
  • Are you my appendix? Cause you seem kind of useless to me.