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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You know you’re mature when you go to the dentist and you are no longer afraid of pain, but of how much it costs.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Your life can’t fall apart if you never had it together.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

First date idea: you transfer me all your crypto.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Authenticity is whispered, but bullshit is broadcasted.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Wisdom of the day: Don’t do anything you don’t want to explain to the paramedic.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,366

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

A long time ago, being crazy meant something. Nowadays, everybody is crazy.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Once you realize that no one really cares how you’re doing, it becomes much easier to answer the question.

Trending via Reddit:

You ever cleaned a room in your house so good that you walked out… just to walk back in to see your work?

Breaking via YouTube:

What’s y’all’s favorite burner on your stove? Mine is front left. That’s my boy. That’s my big dawg.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Trending via Facebook:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Spending 5 minutes looking up every word I want to use in a sentence to make sure I can define it in case they ask.

Spotted on Threads:

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Going viral on YouTube:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Spotted on Telegram:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

4 weeks ago

Playful quote about relaxing with beers, riding and pampering a horse in a video game scene.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Horsin' around with a buzz and some virtual apples—it's cheaper than therapy! 🍺🐴🍎

apple, apples, beer, beers, couple, dead, drinking, feeding, game, gaming, getting, horse, humor, just, petting, red, Red Dead Redemption, redemption, relaxation, video, video game

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Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on TikTok this month:

I could never give up my dog, he knows too much.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

48 shares on Reddit this month:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

73 shares on Slack this month:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

Thinking of starting a club for people who don’t like to leave their house. There are no meetings.

62 shares on X this month:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

99 shares on Discord this month:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

My southern family thinks my daily routine in NYC is that I wake up, try really hard not to get stabbed by a knife, and then I go see a musical.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Back in the day, you used to have to listen to records backwards to discover conspiracy theories.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I’m really looking forward to another exciting year staring at my phone.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve realized about a third of my life is spent trying to ignore the fact that I have to pee.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

You befriend a guy and a few days later he’s like “I wanna talk to you about something”. Please, God, let it be about the economy.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

Going bananas on Threads:

Stop telling people to grow up. Have you seen adults?

Just shared via Messenger:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Going viral on Discord:

“Time After Time” is my favorite song about doing the dishes.

Just shared via Facebook:

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

Spotted on Snapchat:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Days without shaking my head disapprovingly at myself: 0.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Hobbies include being misunderstood.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Drinking a couple of beers and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption, and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Nothing betrays your age more than the slang you won’t let go of.

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

It really is Monday every 15 minutes.

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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