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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My life is based on a true story.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

If you’re a man and don’t feel well or are going through something tough, just remember no one cares.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

At my next job, I’m gonna lie about having a kid so I can leave the office anytime I want like everyone else with children.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

They should invent a body that doesn’t keep the score.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Stranger: Your children are angels. Me: So was the devil.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

236 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,505

Funny Quotes Topics

17,570

Funny Quotes Images

15,505

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,601

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

In banana years, I am bread.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Once again, I have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes.

Spotted on YouTube:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Trending via WeChat:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Seen just now on Threads:

The elder Zoomer speaks of the Wii with reverence.

Going viral on Discord:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Just landed via Instagram:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Going bananas on Telegram:

“I have an AI boyfriend.” No, you don’t. It’s Adam and Eve or Adam and Steve, not Adam and USB.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I knew the date was going well when we shared a glass of gravy with two straws.

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Mission accomplished! My house is now an art installation titled "Controlled Chaos" 😅🧹🏡

done, got, guest, guests, hard, home, hospitality, house, housekeeping, humor, i, joke, just, mess, messy, prank, tell, visit

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

0

2 months ago

buy, divorce, fee, happiness, humor, legal, legal fee, money, never, paid, payment, relationship, said
Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

0

2 months ago

almost, bad, bad decision, decision, decisions, eating, food, humor, lifestyle, relatable, self-deprecating
Ugh, but profoundly.

0

2 months ago

attitude, expression, frustration, humor, irony, remark, sarcasm, ugh, witty, witty remark
Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

0

2 months ago

employment, environment, great, honesty, humor, interview, job, job interview, lie, lying, sarcasm, work, work environment, workplace
My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

0

2 months ago

angel, break, divine, divine intervention, guardian, guardian angel, history, humor, intervention, irony, longest, procrastination, smoking, smoking break, taking
Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

0

2 months ago

basket, best, chores, empty, having, humor, laundry, life, moment, satisfaction, seconds

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

Aging is the worst. I miss the good ol’ days when my pain was strictly emotional.

91 shares on Discord this month:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

90 shares on Threads this month:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some things are better left unsaid, which I certainly realize, right after I say them.

92 shares on Twitch this month:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

10 shares on Telegram this month:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

59 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

87 shares on Snapchat this month:

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap, and heavy metal at the old folks’ homes.

39 shares on X this month:

“New recipe” is code for “less content, but worse ingredients”.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t push people away, I just do the Macarena.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

In your 20s, you’ll meet a short man. It’s very important you jump over him.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

I automatically assume everyone finds me unattractive until they tell me otherwise, and then I assume that they are lying to make fun of me.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

“Male loneliness epidemic” and it’s just karma and the consequences of their actions.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

Making waves on Messenger:

Why can’t people be tested like watermelons? You tap them on the head and find out whether they are normal or bad.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My phone is on Do Not Disturb because I am disturbed enough as it is.

Live now on Instagram:

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Shared recently on YouTube:

As you get older, it’s amazing how fast bird-watching creeps up on you…

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Anyone got any good sins for someone just getting into sinning?

Trending via WhatsApp:

I wonder if this next thunderstorm is thinking of me, too.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Ugh, but profoundly.

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨