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Sounds like a spa day gone rogue! 🧽🛁😂👕
Tag Archives: 179 Funny actually quotes
Liking someone romantically is actually just a humiliation ritual.
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Falling for someone is like signing up for a comedy show where you're both the audience and the punchline! 🤡💘😂
Does anyone actually know how to pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, or do we all just stumble through it and hope for the best?
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Worcestershire sauce: The sauce we all agree to disagree on how to say! 🤔🍽️😆
I hate that I’m so indecisive. Actually, I don’t know if hate is the right word.
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Can’t decide if I relate to this or if I'm just undecided 😂🤔
Hear me out: a streaming service that doesn’t keep increasing their prices and actually has movies you want to watch.
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Finally, a streaming service that isn't playing 'hide-and-seek' with our wallets and taste! 🍿🤣📉
“I’m too pretty for this” is a very valid excuse, actually.
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When you realize that "too pretty for this" is your new life philosophy, and it’s working wonders 😂👑✨
Thought getting captured by cannibals would be terrifying, but they’re actually feeding me really well.
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Well, at least when they say "you're what's for dinner," they're not lying! 🍽️😂
Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.
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"Why answer when you can become a private investigator? 📞🔍🤣"
Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.
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When it's "casual Friday" but your life is already in pajamas mode every day 🤪👕💼
It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.
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Why settle for drama-free diamonds when the thrill of human misery adds that extra je ne sais quoi? 😂💎🔍