Commentary:
Oh no, someone please lock the door! 🚪😂🔒
94 Funny anyone quotes
I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.
Commentary:
😂🍔 If your burger arrives sideways and you lose it, maybe the problem isn't the sandwich! 🍟😆
Aside from cocaine, has anyone figured out what that little pocket on your jeans is for?
Commentary:
😂 That pocket's only job is to hold my hopes and dreams! 🌟👖
We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.
Commentary:
Wow, my modem just made noises that sent my cat into witness protection 😂📞📟
I love icebreakers. They really give me time to anxiously reflect on what the most fun fact about me is, while I don’t listen to anyone else at all.
Commentary:
"Fun fact about me: I once survived an icebreaker by using 'um' as a flotation device! 😅🧊🚤"
Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.
Commentary:
Ranting incognito: the ultimate stealth mode 🙈🕵️♂️💬
Does anyone know what to do, like in general?
Commentary:
When I was born, the instruction manual must have flown off into space 🚀🤔✨
Refusing to make eye contact with anyone while I eat my banana.
Commentary:
Avoiding eye contact like I'm in a banana witness protection program 😂🍌🚫👀
Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.
Commentary:
Can’t promise I’ll return with a bookshelf, but guaranteed meatball mission success! 🛒🥢🤣
Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?
Commentary:
Ah, the classic "grocery chic" textbook look! 🛒📚 Who needs Gucci when you've got Safeway? 😄