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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

They’re uploading my consciousness into a disposable vape.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

I have a condition that prevents me from dieting. It’s called being hungry.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Cows are very calm, considering the whole floor is food to them.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Thrifting must be so awesome for big guys and extremely small women.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you’re up to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,276

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

Me, literally climbing out of a dumpster: Can I give you some personal advice?

Breaking via Reddit:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Seen just now on X:

Ever since I was young, I knew I wanted to be online nonstop.

Trending via Instagram:

Unless you’re dead wearing a sheet, you got no business ghosting people.

Going bananas on Threads:

I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

Just shared via Facebook:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Source? Divine intuition, gut instinct, and cryptic symbolism from my dreams.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Snapchat this month:

Grok, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

79 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

13 shares on WeChat this month:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

82 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

84 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

95 shares on Instagram this month:

Blood pressure too high to chase these hoes.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Pornhub be like “Your phone got a virus,” bro, just play the bloody video.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I hated rats even before my girlfriend left me for one.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Always remember you’re someone’s reason to smile. Because you’re a joke.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

New year; new me. Just kidding. I’m already awesome.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,295

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Asking people their favorite color and then calling them liars.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Take me down to the Moria city, where the girls are green and the boys are stinky… and even Gandalf said ‘Nope, too freaky!’

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

The most difficult thing you’ll do as a parent is not rearrange the ornaments after the kids put them on the tree.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

I’m neither a lover nor a fighter. I’m a snacker.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Some parents are blessed with amazing kids and others have kids that decide to learn the trumpet.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Spotted on Twitch:

Just because the deodorant says 48 hours, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Breaking via YouTube:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Just shared via X:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Probably the worst thing about the death of print media is the devastating effect it’s having on the producers of traditional ransom notes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If your coffee shop has a passive-aggressive ‘no Wi-Fi, pretend it’s the old days’ sign, I’m gonna smoke in there and pay 50 cents for coffee.

Going bananas on Slack:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Making waves on Instagram:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

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