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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

What if all the ancient Greek sculptures are actually victims of Medusa?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Life is so dull when you don’t have someone to flirt with.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

Now that I got a library card, I’m moving differently.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

No one knows what I’m up to, not even me.

Live now on Facebook:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

What’s the best job for someone who cries very easily and cannot handle any criticism?

Going viral on YouTube:

None of this matters and we are all going to die. Have a great weekend!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Making waves on Slack:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Breaking via TikTok:

Netflix and chi…cken nuggets.

Trending via Telegram:

I won’t be accepting any parcels for the neighbors in December this year. Last year it was all junk.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,961

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,961

Updated

20 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

There should be a calorie refund for food that didn’t taste as good as you expected.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

My favorite recipe is the one where I pick up the phone and order food.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Autocorrect has become our worst enema.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

At bedtime, I ceremonially move the claw clip from my hair to the bag of chips, signifying the end of the day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Reported on Telegram:

Sundries sounds like something grandma would call scandalous underwear.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

Going viral on WeChat:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Going viral on X:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Just landed via Twitch:

I hate it when I gain 20 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Making waves on Telegram:

I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.

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