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This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

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I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

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My most boomer complaint is that nobody knows how to bring an item out of courtesy to parties anymore.

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The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

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People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

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No revenge, because I donโ€™t even remember what happened.

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In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

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Aren’t you a little old to be a bully?

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Facebook: because time isn’t going to pass on it’s own.

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I’m liking your IG photo from 8 days ago because IG just showed me today!

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