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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Eternal Sunshine of the Thotless Grind.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Lately, when I meet new people, I ask them what their hobbies are instead of what they do for work, and let me tell you, the conversations have been absolutely top tier!

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

I want a man who doesn’t annoy me while I’m constantly getting on his nerves. It can’t be that difficult.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

On a first date, saying “agree to disagree” every time they share anything about themselves.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

There are beautiful horny women (me) being forced into celibacy due to the utter lack of worthy men in existence. This is the world we are living in now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

I love how women can go from obsessed to not interested at all when a man makes that one wrong move.

Shared recently on Threads:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Spotted on Messenger:

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

Live now on Discord:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Broadcasted on Threads:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Shared recently on Slack:

My door camera alerts are all just me stepping outside to see how warm it is.

Spotted on Facebook:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

13 Funny efficiency quotes

Funny efficiency quotes are the perfect blend of wit and wisdom to boost your productivity with a smile 😄⚡️. They turn everyday work struggles into hilarious moments, making efficiency feel less like a chore and more like a game 🎯💼. Whether you’re chasing deadlines or juggling tasks, these witty lines will keep you motivated and laughing all the way to success 🚀✨!

New funny efficiency quotes 👇

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All funny efficiency quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

17 shares on Discord this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Girls on their period: stay away from me; I need you.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

70 shares on Messenger this month:

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

65 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best way to get through Monday is to pretend it’s Tuesday.

34 shares on Threads this month:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

56 shares on WeChat this month:

Grateful for independence mostly because British food is gross.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate being in that mood where nothing’s really wrong but nothing feels right either.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Simplicity is so complicated.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope your day is as nice as my ass.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need the audio tour at the museum, I have my teen to provide critical commentary the entire time.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,495

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

My favorite part of parenting is being exhausted all the time and losing the will to live.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Boobs always win. That’s why we don’t play rock, paper, boobs.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

I put my music on shuffle then get mad when it doesn’t play the song I want.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

So excited to go to bed and have the worst sleep of my life, and wake up exhausted and aching.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

This could have been an email. Me, while attending a wedding ceremony.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Trending via Slack:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Shared recently on Pinterest:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

It’s comical when I lean back in my chair only to realize it’s a stool.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

I don’t follow washing instructions, you’re my clothes you don’t tell me what to do.

Seen just now on X:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Just shared via Twitch:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

Breaking via Twitch:

You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.

Just landed via YouTube:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Going bananas on Facebook:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

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