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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

Let me help you turn that software into hardware.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

I’m not shaking hands anymore. You may bow or kneel down.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I miss whatever age I was when I thought five dollars was a lot of money.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I hate listening to a rapper that I used to adore, and they just don’t have it anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

It’s important to listen to both sides of the debate because you need to hear both the reality of the situation and also the dumbest thing anyone’s ever said.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2502 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,664

Funny Quotes Topics

15,336

Funny Quotes Images

12,664

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,451

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Me liking your post is the equivalent of an angel kissing your forehead.

Making waves on Telegram:

What if aliens watch our movies about aliens and then invade accordingly in hopes of fitting in with our culture?

Going viral on Telegram:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If you want to know who the bad guys are, it is the side who wants you arrested for memes and jokes.

Reported on Telegram:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

In my 20’s: why is eating healthy such a big deal anyways. In my 40’s: oh.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Shared recently on Slack:

Whoever’s praying on my downfall, I appreciate you thinking of me.

Just shared via Facebook:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

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181 Funny exercise quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2502 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,664

Funny Quotes Topics

15,336

Funny Quotes Images

12,664

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,461

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has viewed:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Having a car is crazy cause you gotta take it to the car doctor.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Called myself to see if I’d answer, sent me to voicemail. Twice.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But it’s not a very good one.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Hold on, let me overthink this.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Instead of screaming into the void, I’m going to ask it for recipes.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

Your 20s are for developing attachments to people who will haunt you for the rest of your life.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When the grocery store moves the aisles around, you should be able to call the cops.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Reported on Facebook:

All my small talk is done with a car horn.

Breaking via Discord:

Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Calling it a situationship, and the whole time, the situation is that they don’t want you.

Going viral on Twitch:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Breaking via YouTube:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Live now on WhatsApp:

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

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