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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Is ice cream for dinner a thing, because ice cream for dinner should be be a thing.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Every morning when that damn alarm clock goes off, I just feel it so much: A million-dollar inheritance suits me much better than an office job.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I’ve taken a long, hard look at myself. I won’t be doing that again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

Trending via Pinterest:

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

Going viral on YouTube:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

Seen just now on Instagram:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I’m exactly where I want to be. At home, avoiding people.

Spotted on Facebook:

The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.

Live now on Facebook:

Thunder is fake. It doesn’t even sync up properly with lightning. There’s some guy who waits till he sees lightning and then he presses the thunder button.

Seen just now on Threads:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Making waves on X:

Instead of saying “Good morning,” my wife and I go straight into explanations of how badly we each slept.

20 Funny fart quotes

Funny fart quotes bring a touch of humor to the often overlooked and universally relatable topic of passing gas! 💨😂 From light-hearted jabs about embarrassing moments to witty observations on this natural bodily function, these quotes celebrate the lighter side of life’s little mishaps. Enjoy a chuckle and embrace the comedic charm of these funny fart quotes! 😆🚶‍♂️

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on X this month:

At therapy, saying “Don’t worry about it” to every question.

65 shares on Reddit this month:

Fun fact: If Celine Dion sang only the vowels in her name, it would be the lyrics to Old McDonalds Farm.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Blocking someone isn’t enough, I want them to get lice.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Meetings are great because who doesn’t like being held hostage?

33 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

When planning dinner, remember that ice-cream has both calcium and protein.

13 shares on Instagram this month:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

93 shares on Slack this month:

Me, having zero balance in my account, viewing houses worth 10 million, and being like, “No, I don’t like the kitchen.”

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Shorts should be half the price of pants.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“You shouldn’t let your cat jump on the counter”, my cat could take out a loan in my name if he wanted to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,452

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Go outside and let the rain do what your boyfriend can’t.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Born to screenshot everything and never look at it again.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m an optimist and i understand how annoying that is.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Millennials are just 30-40-year-olds who look 20-30 years old and feel 80-90 years old.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Spotted on Discord:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Getting a girlfriend is actually very easy, you just have to spin a basketball on your finger.

Just landed via Twitch:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Live now on LinkedIn:

You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Just landed via Threads:

I start off my mornings with coffee and low expectations.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Imagine having a negative opinion of me, and I have no idea who you are.

Trending via Reddit:

Ratatouille is hilarious because the villain wasn’t even evil; he just didn’t want food cooked by rats?!?

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