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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

I live in my own little world. But it’s ok, they know me here.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

You know you’re over 40 when you clean your house to the music you used to get drunk to.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

In case of a disaster, women and children are being evacuated first so men can think about a solution in peace.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I feel like we’re on like the 50th or 60th horseman of the apocalypse by now.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Victor Frankenstein being only 23 years old when he made the monster is crazy to me, he should have been at the club.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,952

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I want time to watch more films, but I also want time to read more books, but I also want time to look at more nothing.

Going viral on Pinterest:

The grass is only greener on the other side because of all the bullshit on it.

Shared recently on X:

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

Just shared via Slack:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Shared recently on Instagram:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Trending via Telegram:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Live now on Snapchat:

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

Making waves on X:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Funny hallucination quotes

Funny hallucination quotes bring a hilarious twist to mind-bending moments 🤪✨ Whether it’s seeing things that aren’t there or imagining wild scenarios, these witty lines turn the surreal into pure comedy 🎭😂 Get ready to laugh at the unexpected and embrace the quirky side of the imagination 🌈👀 Perfect for sharing a smile when reality gets a little too weird!

New funny hallucination quotes 👇

All funny hallucination quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

89 shares on X this month:

I wish I was a cat. No bills, no job, just meow, meow.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hope you all get laid soon, for your own mental health.

77 shares on Threads this month:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

I usually don’t flirt, so if I flirt with you, please cooperate.

33 shares on Threads this month:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Pinky promises are still a legit foundation of trust.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If you like pointing out beautiful scenery to three people who are on their phones, a family road trip is for you.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m a pocket full of sunshine, not your dumping ground for grumpiness.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re not depressed. You just need $250,000 in your bank account.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Being in your 20s is crazy because, why did you stay with someone you were that incompatible with for that long?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it just my dad, or do all fathers watch videos on their phones with the volume full blast, with no concern for anyone else in the house?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Me to cat: quit looking at me like I’m an ingredient.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

4,062

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Steve Jobs was a vibe coder. He just prompted Steve Wozniak.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and wild, the next minute you’re into air fryers.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

If you’re not easily offended, why are you even online?

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Changing your mind is an underrated activity.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I wanted to wear some hot lingerie, but didn’t have any, so I put on this red dental floss.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Making waves on Discord:

I am “I can’t remember the last time I went out on New Year’s Eve” old.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Oh, that’s nothing a sudden burst of completely disproportionate rage won’t solve.

Making waves on Instagram:

No matter how early you get up, fate always gets up half an hour earlier.

Spotted on Telegram:

Frankly, I have too many situations and not enough monitors.

Going viral on Instagram:

They should make a movie that’s good the whole way through.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I’m addicted to placebos.

Live now on Facebook:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Seen just now on WeChat:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

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