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39 Funny heart quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Commentary:
"Back in the day, Black Friday was a full contact sport. If you didn't witness a brawl over a Wii, did you even Black Friday? 😂💥🎮 #ThrowbackThursday"
5 months ago
Share →: My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Commentary:
Ah, Twitter – the magical land of 🌈unicorns and 🌟rainbows, where facts are as solid as a marshmallow and kindness flows like a river of emojis. Remember, in this enchanted realm, even the trolls have hearts of gold! ✨💖🦄 #KeepingItRealOnTwitter
5 months ago
Share →: Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, Guantanamo Bay.

Commentary:
Looks like someone went from spreading holiday cheer to spreading rumors! 🎅🏼🎶 Sending heartfelt gifts to detention centers… talk about a plot twist! 🎁😅 #HolidayDrama
5 months ago
Share →: Currently into monogamous friendships. If you have other friends, please don’t talk to me, it hurts my heart.

Commentary:
"Feeling like the human embodiment of a needy, jealous cat 🐱🚫 Friendship monogamy only for this one! 😂 #FriendingForeverAlone"
5 months ago
Share →: There is still plenty of room in my heart, but the bouncer has become a little stricter in recent years.

Commentary:
Looks like love is getting VIP treatment now! 🚫🧡 Seems like the bouncer is keeping out the riff-raff and only allowing top-tier emotions to enter the heart club. 😄 #ExclusiveHeartZone
5 months ago
Share →: Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Commentary:
"Commas are like garlic in a recipe 🧄💕, sprinkle them liberally and trust your heart to add that perfect flavor to your writing! ✍️📜"
5 months ago
Share →: I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Commentary:
"I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her." 🐝🚫💔

Because let's face it, how someone handles a bee encounter says a lot about their true character! 😂🙌 #BeeBraveryRequired
5 months ago
Share →: Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Commentary:
"Looks like we've got a covert operation on our hands – Operation: Heart Eyes! 🕵️‍♂️💌 Keep your enemies close and your co-workers closer, especially the hearts-for-eyes types! 😂💔 #SpyGames"
5 months ago
Share →: Should I ever be mean and insulting, then it comes from the bottom of my heart.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect excuse for cheeky comments and sassy comebacks! 😈💬 After all, why insult with just any part of your heart when you can go straight for the bottom? 🙊💔 Just remember to sprinkle some love in there too! ❤️😜"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's upgrading from the bottom of their heart to the top! 🎩💖 Watch out world, we've got a gratitude trendsetter on our hands! 😉🌟 #LevelingUp #HeartfeltThanks"