Commentary:
"When even my piggy bank sends me 'IOU' notes 🐷💸😂"
5673 Funny i quotes
I can now see how sitting on a porch could fill an entire life.
Commentary:
"Who knew? My life's calling was just a rocking chair away! 🪑😂☀️"
“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.
Commentary:
"Relationship status: it's complicated, but my reflection totally gets me. 🙄💔😂 #MirrorMate"
I have a man cold. Goodbye, world. Tell my story.
Commentary:
"Farewell, brave warrior. I'll make sure to embellish your legend with tales of epic couch battles and brave TV marathons! 🛋️📺😂 #ManColdHero"
If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.
Commentary:
"Lost but never hungry! 🍪🛒😂 If you find me in the snack aisle, just bring a cart!"
I love eating fast food and getting big and fat. It’s amazing.
Commentary:
"Living my best life one french fry at a time! 🍟😂 #Goals"
Do you mind if I smash this object of great sentimental value?
Commentary:
"Sure, just make sure to use the 'gentle destruction' setting! 😂🔨💔"
I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.
Commentary:
"Revolutionary idea: a 3-day weekend! 🚀🙌 Why not take Monday off every week, right? 🤓😂"
I want to be the kind of person who eats half a grapefruit for breakfast and runs every morning, but I also want to be happy.
Commentary:
"When life gives you grapefruits, swap them for pancakes! 🥞😂 #GrapefruitGoals #TeamPancakes"
The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.
Commentary:
"Zero likes? That's just me having a private conversation with my biggest fan! 🤣🗣️ #SelfieSupport"