Funny intoxication quotes

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  6 days ago

  Share →: When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

  Commentary:
  Two beers in and suddenly discovering divine beauty – is this how angels look, or do I just need new glasses? 🍻😇👓

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  1 week ago

  Share →: Alcohol is actually a performance-enhancing drug, but you’re not gonna like the performance.

  Commentary:
  When your dancing skills upgrade from novice to "interpretive genius" by the second drink 🍺🕺😂

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

  Commentary:
  "Wait, what were we talking about? 🍷🤔 Oh right, let's toast to short-term amnesia! 🥂😂"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: One time, I was so high my bra unclasped, and I thought I got shot.

  Commentary:
  "Sounds like a real *bust* of a night! 🤣🔫😮‍💨 #Bra-dventures"

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

  Commentary:
  "When your inner drunk advisor gives you advice, you know it's time to pour another drink 🥃🤔 #CheersToQuestionableWisdom"

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