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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Smoking weed and watching music videos as the hangout is a lost art.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Yesterday my husband thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed and cleaned everything thoroughly. Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,599

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

That song stuck in my head is “Don’t Speak”; I have no doubt in my mind.

Just shared via Pinterest:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Not to brag, but I drove and found a place I was looking for without turning down my music today.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If social media has taught me anything, it’s that we are all crazy in a different way.

Just shared via Messenger:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Live now on WeChat:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Trending via Discord:

Coffee should just be free for anybody over 30.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

As a man, it’s my job to mistake kindness for flirting.

Spotted on Twitch:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

Funny juice quotes

Funny juice quotes are the perfect blend of humor and zest 🍊😂 Whether you’re sipping on a fresh smoothie or just juicing up your day, these witty lines add that extra splash of fun 🥤✨ Get ready to laugh, guffaw, and maybe even spill your drink with these juicy gems 🍍🤣 Cheers to a refreshingly funny twist on your favorite drink! 🍉😄

New funny juice quotes 👇

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

21 hours ago

alcohol, apple, apple juice, drink, fruit, fruit juice, humor, juice, shy, taste, too, wants
I used to really want to be understood. Now I mainly just want things like snacks and juice.

1 week ago

change, desire, humor, i, juice, just, priorities, snack, snacks, things, understanding, used, want
Airplanes are so weird because how does a giant metal box stay in the air like that, and why am I craving tomato juice?

2 months ago

air, airplane, am, box, craving, flying, giant, i, juice, metal, metal box, question, stay, tomato, tomato juice, weird, weird question, why
Cocktails can be tricky, because they taste like juice, but then the next thing you know… you can’t walk.

2 months ago

alcohol, cocktail, cocktails, drink, humor, juice, know, next, party, taste, thing, tipsy, tricky, walk, walking
Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

2 months ago

ask, awesome, beverages, cost, creativity, drinks, humor, juice, mocktails, much, question
I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

2 months ago

accident, accidentally, breakfast, drink, humor, i, juice, mix-up, morning, orange, orange juice, twice, vodka
I feel like the person who named pink eye also named orange juice.

2 months ago

comparison, eye, feel, funny comparison, humor, i, irony, juice, naming, orange, orange juice, person, pink, pink eye
Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

2 months ago

bet, beverage, capri, Capri Sun, fruit, fruit juice, humor, juice, scientist, scientists, sun, taste
If you add orange juice to Jason Momoa, you get a Jason Mimosa.

2 months ago

drink, humor, Jason, juice, Mimosa, Momoa, orange, orange juice, pun, wordplay

All funny juice quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I highly recommend having hobbies, it distracts you from falling in love unnecessarily.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

56 shares on Pinterest this month:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

98 shares on Threads this month:

The bank just called and gave me the biggest compliment, said my balance is outstanding. I really needed that today.

100 shares on Discord this month:

“Can you explain the gap in your resume?” I went missing in a national park.

62 shares on YouTube this month:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

87 shares on Slack this month:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

92 shares on Pinterest this month:

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls be like “forget it, I’m fine” then set your house on fire.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Performative male is kinda just a rebrand of metrosexual, which is just a way to say a straight guy is a little bit faggy.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when lashes make me look evil.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

69. Some might call it nasty. I call it a romantic dinner for 2.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,348

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I’m writing a fairytale about a printer that just works.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Calling someone a “tough cookie” is not a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

If they can make a nuclear reactor small enough to power a submarine, why can’t they make one for my house?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Just landed via YouTube:

If he has other girls who make him smile, be different and make him cry.

Seen just now on Discord:

Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.

Live now on WeChat:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Who called it a period tracker instead of a madvent calendar?

Spotted on Telegram:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

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