Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Commentary:
"Caution: Brilliant minds at work! 🧠💼 Ignore the solo dialogue and corporate jargon – just a one-person board meeting in progress! 🤣 #SelfEmployedCEO"
6 months ago
Share →: The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone took 'traveling light' a bit too literally! 🚂💼😅 #ForgetfulTraveler #MinimalistGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal mystery of cosmic inflation vs. rental inflation 🌌📈 Maybe our landlords are secretly the architects of the expanding universe? 🤔💸 #RentIsOutOfThisWorld"
6 months ago
Share →: I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

Commentary:
Well, that's one way to maintain personal space! 🔞🤬 It's like a modern-day version of a "keep out" sign. Just sprinkle a few choice words and voilà, instant privacy! Just remember, kids might be gone, but adults might find you oddly entertaining. 😅
6 months ago
Share →: Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Commentary:
"Feeling optimistic? 🌟 Don't worry, life has a surplus of surprises lined up just for you! 🎁 Remember, disappointment is just another way of life saying 'plot twist'! 🔄 Keep marching on, your next letdown could be just around the corner! 🚶‍♂️💔"
6 months ago
Share →: My bank assures me my money is safe with them, yet they keep their pens chained to desks and most of them are missing.

Commentary:
"Looks like the pens are the real precious assets at that bank! 🖊️💰 Maybe the pens are off on a vacation, spending all that safe money somewhere sunny… 🌴😎 Just don't let them draw on your bank account balance!"
6 months ago
Share →: Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

Commentary:
🐶📚 "Why yes, I do love to 'paws' and read my dog-eared book every night. Who needs new bookmarks when you can have eared bookmarks, right? 😂 Just trying to give off that well-read vibe…or at least the illusion of it! 🤓"
6 months ago
Share →: “Don’t let me keep you!” Translation: Please go.

Commentary:
When someone says "Don't let me keep you!" what they actually mean is "Please exit the premises immediately, I beg of you! 🚪💨" Just remember, polite language can sometimes hide savage intentions! 😂 #ReadingBetweenTheLines
6 months ago
Share →: Normalize saying “better you than me” to people who keep complaining about everything.

Commentary:
"Let's all push for a world where 'better you than me' becomes the ultimate compassion phrase for chronic complainers. 🙃 It's the polite way of saying 'I don't have time for your drama, but thanks for the entertainment!' 😂 #NormalizeBetterYouThanMe"
6 months ago
Share →: I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Commentary:
"Just out here multitasking like a pro – warming up both my seat and my burrito because priorities, am I right? 🚗🔥🌯 #LifeHacks"