220 Funny little quotes

• It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

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  2 months ago

  consider, efficiency, humor, internet, invention, ironic, irony, little, save, technology, time

• Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

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  2 months ago

  adult, adults, anything, important, jail, just, little, name, paper, piece, pinky, pinky promise, promise, send, serious, signature, silly, wrong

• There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

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  2 months ago

  celery, celery stalk, cold, cold soup, comfort, comfort food, drink, even, food, humor, ice, little, nothing, over, quirky, quirky drink, soothe, soul, soup, stalk, tomato, tomato soup, vodka

• They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

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  2 months ago

  before, coffee, coffee maker, humor, little, maker, office, pass, rules, should, test, touch, training, training video, video, watch, workplace

• Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

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  2 months ago

  blaming, brother, family, humor, little, nobody, punching, rivalry, sibling, sibling rivalry, son, trouble, victim, victim blaming

• Can we talk about what little red riding hoods actual grandma must have looked like?

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  2 months ago

  actual, appearance, character, fairy, fairy tale, fantasy, grandma, hood, humor, little, little red riding hood, red, riding, storytelling, tale, talk

• I did a little research on why weekends are only two days long and it turns out people made that up. WTF, people?

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  2 months ago

  days, humor, i, little, people, research, weekend, work, WTF

• Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

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  2 months ago

  arguing, backup, backup dancer, being, dancer, entertainment, humor, interaction, likes, little, love, media, observation, people, posts, social, social media, tragedy

• Women know the exact weight of their children and their age in days. Men just know that little people live with them.

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  2 months ago

  age, children, days, humor, just, know, little, little people, live, men, parenting, people, weight, women

• Some should judge a little less and look at their lives a little more.

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  2 months ago

  advice, growth, humor, judge, judgment, less, life, little, personal, personal growth, perspective, self-reflection, should

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