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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

I like listening to music in languages I don’t speak because sometimes I just don’t wanna know what anybody is talking about.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

You now have the chance to be the first person to send me nudes.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be using humor to hide pain.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Mindfulness is out. We’re doing drugs again.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Blink if you want me!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,334

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Shared recently on Threads:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Live now on Threads:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

Trending via Pinterest:

Dating after 40 is like trying to find the least damaged item at the thrift store that doesn’t smell.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Seen just now on Telegram:

The problem is I am always the problem.

Spotted on YouTube:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Just landed via Twitch:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Just shared via Telegram:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

Trending via Facebook:

Taking Adderall to use the calculator app.

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

I didn’t really mind the voices in my head until one of them started their own podcast.

3 weeks ago

absurdity, comedy, head, health, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental health, mind, own, podcast, voices
Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.

3 weeks ago

family, gallop, genetics, health, humor, insanity, mental, mental health
Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

3 weeks ago

balance, doing, health, hour, hours, humor, irony, mental, mental health, self-care, self-destruction, self-improvement, wellness
Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

3 weeks ago

coping, day, facade, feelings, health, humor, irony, mental, mental health, reality, scream, smile
Life hack: give yourself 8 to 12 hours of alone time in the morning to mentally prepare for the day.

3 weeks ago

12, alone, alone time, day, hack, hours, life, life hack, mental, mental preparation, mentally, morning, morning routine, personal, personal time, preparation, productivity, routine, self-care, time, yourself
Self-esteem’s so bad my fantasies are hurting my feelings.

3 weeks ago

bad, comedy, emotional, emotional pain, fantasy, feelings, health, humor, insecurity, mental, mental health, pain, self-esteem
My stress stresses me out to the point where I’m too stressed to deal with my stress.

3 weeks ago

anxiety, coping, health, humor, me, mental, mental health, overwhelmed, point, self-care, stress
Due to intense brain fog all of my thoughts have been grounded until further notice.

3 weeks ago

block, brain, brain fog, confusion, fog, grounded, humor, mental, mental block, notice, thoughts
Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

3 weeks ago

boss, defeat, final, health, humor, i, jokes, life, mental, mental health, same, self-improvement, therapist, therapy, thing, trainwreck
I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

3 weeks ago

brain, discovery, humor, i, just, left, left side, mental, mental state, nothing, right, right side, self-awareness, side, state

For even more funny mental quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Facebook this month:

If anyone wants to contact me, from now on I can only be reached via my bank account.

25 shares on X this month:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

Not opening up anymore, have fun trying to figure me out.

47 shares on YouTube this month:

Got a new high score on my bathroom scale.

47 shares on Instagram this month:

“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.

80 shares on Reddit this month:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

37 shares on Threads this month:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

44 shares on Discord this month:

You’re in her DMs, she’s in my bed whining that it’s too cold. Can you come get her?

43 shares on Twitch this month:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

50 shares on Slack this month:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I finished an entire book in one sitting. I’m going to need some new crayons.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I don’t need to grow a thick skin. The world needs to grow fewer thorns.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

It’s a good thing Titanic is only a movie. A lot of people would’ve died.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If a man speaks in the forest and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

Going bananas on Threads:

Long distance relationships can work if the four of you all truly trust each other.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.

Spotted on Threads:

Feels like the Chinese government turned up the power on the sleepy ray they use on me every morning.

Activity Log ✨

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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