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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry, I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

No, I don’t like nature. I can’t respect anything that would so flippantly turn dinosaurs into birds.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it’s the stupid ones who need advice.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,304

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Discord:

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Broadcasted on X:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Just landed via Telegram:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Shared recently on Facebook:

My biggest sexual fantasy is someone throwing a million dollars on my naked body and then leaving me alone.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

They say there’s no such thing as a stupid question, but then they’ll go and wake you up to ask if you’re asleep.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Floppy disks are like Jesus. They died to become the icon of saving.

Going viral on Messenger:

Japanese Latina catgirl be like ña.

Trending via WeChat:

I’ll make direct eye contact while eating a hot dog, just to make you feel weird.

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

“You handled it so well.” Nah, I didn’t. I lost my spark, felt crazy, distanced myself from everyone, and hated myself.

1 week ago

crazy, emotional, emotional struggle, everyone, health, honesty, humor, i, lost, mental, mental health, myself, self-awareness, self-deprecation, struggle, well
Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

1 week ago

daily, daily grind, every, gently, grind, health, humor, humor quote, mental, mental health, mistake, motivation, over, past, perseverance, reflection, resilience, rise, self-awareness, self-improvement, teeth, while
It’s a good thing when your therapist sits down with a bucket of popcorn, right?

1 week ago

amusing, entertainment, good, health, humor, mental, mental health, popcorn, right, therapist, therapy, thing
Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

1 week ago

brain, doing, effort, good, hard, humor, humor quote, i, job, know, mental, mental effort, self-awareness, self-deprecating, trying
Oh, sorry, I can’t right now. I’m imagining some things and worrying about them.

1 week ago

activity, excuse, humor, i, imagination, mental, mental activity, oh, overthinking, right, sorry, things, worry, worrying
Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

1 week ago

gas, health, holding, hope, humor, intrusive, intrusive thought, joke, just, mental, mental health, mind, self-awareness, still, thought, thoughts
Be the reason your therapist reevaluates their entire career.

1 week ago

career, health, humor, mental, mental health, reason, reevaluation, self-awareness, therapist, therapy
Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

1 week ago

brain, humor, mental, mental state, mood, properly, sarcasm, state, think, today
A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

1 week ago

dark, dark humor, everything, fix, fix everything, forehead, forehead kiss, health, humor, illness, irreverent, kiss, lobotomy, mental, mental health, mental illness, therapy
Come on, brain, release the happy chemicals.

2 weeks ago

brain, chemicals, happy, happy chemicals, health, humor, mental, mental health, mood, motivation, release

For even more funny mental quotes, hit next 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on TikTok this month:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

15 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my patience?

49 shares on LinkedIn this month:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

Every ‘c’ in ‘Pacific Ocean’ is pronounced differently.

44 shares on Twitch this month:

I love unfollowing people. You have displeased me for the last time. Leave my sight.

90 shares on Messenger this month:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Men playing hard to get when they’re already hard to want, is so funny to me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

It was so windy today when I was walking to the gym that I got blown into the wine store.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Are you okay, babe? You’ve barely moved in mysterious ways recently.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

Listen to the birds, not the news.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Men look so amazing for people who use the same product for their teeth, hair, floor and car washing.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

A pretty girl like me should be in the sky, sitting on a star.

Spotted on Reddit:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

To avoid burnout at work, use the 30-30 rule: after 30 minutes of work, quit your job and disappear into the mountains for 30 years.

Breaking via X:

People say “I would never,” then here they come nevering like they never nevered before.

Spotted on Twitch:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

Shared recently on Telegram:

Turns out the honeymoon phase lasts forever when you pick the right partner.

Broadcasted on Slack:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Activity Log ✨

256 Funny mental quotes

More funny mental quotes 👇

All funny mental quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨