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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My parents told me I could be anything I wanted so I became unacceptable.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s being annoyed by stupidity.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

1 minute ago

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Your secret is safe with me because I don’t care.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I bought some old lady reading glasses as a lark, a laugh, and now my eyes don’t hurt. This isn’t what I wanted.

Going viral on Twitch:

My credit score is a family of raccoons hissing over a McRib.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Just shared via X:

I’m not saving daylight. I’m the one that needs saving.

Live now on Slack:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Trending via Facebook:

If you really think about it, extraordinary isn’t that great. It’s just an extra helping of ordinary.

Shared recently on Discord:

Nothing is worse than seeing a gorgeous girl that I’d never approach or stand a chance with and then finding out she has a boyfriend.

Going viral on Slack:

People think I’m a minimalist, but I’m just broke.

Broadcasted on X:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Home » Funny Miracle Quotes

Funny miracle quotes

Funny miracle quotes bring a splash of laughter to those awe-inspiring moments when the impossible happens 🤯✨ Whether it’s a quirky twist of fate or a hilarious “how did that even work?” scenario, these witty sayings remind us that miracles don’t always have to be serious 🙃💫 Get ready to smile, chuckle, and maybe even snort as we celebrate the lighter side of the extraordinary! 😂🌟

New funny miracle quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Commentary:
"Sounds like a social experiment ready for a sitcom! 😂🚪🔧"
3 months ago
Share →: “You’re always drinking wine!” God forbid a girl enjoys the first miracle of Jesus.

Commentary:
"Exactly! I'm just trying to channel my inner Jesus vibes, one sip at a time 🍷😇 #WineWednesdayMiracles"
4 months ago
Share →: I’m not religious, but if someone is turning water into wine, let’s take a second look.

Commentary:
"Who needs a church when you've got a magician in the house? I wouldn't mind a taste of that 'holy' water myself!"
5 months ago
Share →: I’m on that new diet where you eat anything you want and you pray for a miracle.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'eat now, pray later' diet strategy. It's like a culinary Hail Mary pass – you never know when the miracle will happen, but you're definitely hoping for a touchdown in the form of a metabolism boost!"
6 months ago
Share →: The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Commentary:
Looks like Jesus had a real last supper letdown! 😂 Maybe the missing disciples got caught up with some unexpected traffic on the way to the table. 🚗 At least the leftovers probably lasted for days! 🍞🍷 #DinnerDilemma

For even more funny miracle quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny miracle quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

1 minute ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

If you respond to emails and Teams messages quickly, you can get away with basically anything at work.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Look, 80’s kids went from Inspector Gadget to Terminator so we have a lot of mixed feelings about technology.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Someone has left me a voicemail. I don’t know what to do. Open the phone app? The contacts? Do I turn on the TV?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has downloaded:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you start eating chips.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

Trending via Snapchat:

As long as you’re still fishing fruit flies out of your drink, you’re not drunk.

Just shared via Threads:

People aren’t so bad if you stay indoors and don’t talk to them.

Going viral on Discord:

Stop using ChatGPT. You got a question, you come to me first.

Trending via Telegram:

There’s just one legitimate synonym for Friday: boom shakalaka.

Just shared via X:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Who needs dystopian fiction when you can watch the news?

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