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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Tupperware is filing for bankruptcy. They would have kept a lid on the news but they couldn’t find one.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My son just turned an everything bagel into an everywhere bagel.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Gotta find someone you’re thermostatically compatible with. You can’t be a 74 dating a 62.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Drugs don’t ruin lives. Drug tests do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

25 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Trending via Discord:

If I shook my head at every stupid thing I saw, I’d have permanent whiplash.

Spotted on X:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Making waves on Slack:

When I said you had a “serial killer face” I had meant it as a compliment. Like, you look like you are very ambitious is what I meant.

Breaking via Telegram:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

if you think i’m rude, you should hear the lil voice in my head.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Going viral on Facebook:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Home » Funny Monday Quotes

49 Funny Monday quotes

Funny Monday quotes bring a light-hearted twist to the start of the workweek! 🗓️😂 From witty remarks about the challenges of getting back to work to playful takes on Monday’s unique vibe, these quotes capture the humor in facing a new week. Enjoy a laugh and start your Monday with a smile! 😄☕

New funny Monday quotes 👇

1 day ago
Share →: The worst part about going to work is the part where you have to go to work.

Commentary:
Commuting to "The Land of Responsibility" wasn't on my bucket list 🏢🚶‍♂️😅
4 days ago
Share →: Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Commentary:
Time to trade in my work shoes for orthopedic ones, but watch out—Monday still sneaks up like a ninja! 😂👟➡️🩼
5 days ago
Share →: That feeling when it’s Friday, you blink once, and somehow it’s Monday again.

Commentary:
The only superpower I have is the ability to time travel from Friday straight to Monday. 🦸‍♂️😅🌪️
1 week ago
Share →: I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Commentary:
"Agreed! Let’s just skip straight to Friday! 😴➡️🍹 #WeekendGoals"
1 week ago
Share →: I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Commentary:
"Revolutionary idea: a 3-day weekend! 🚀🙌 Why not take Monday off every week, right? 🤓😂"
1 week ago
Share →: One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Commentary:
"After a long weekend, my brain's still on vacation mode while my body grudgingly clocks in! 💤🔔 #OutOfOfficeMindset"
3 weeks ago
Share →: Today is the Mondayest Thursday that has ever been mistaken for a Friday in the history of Wednesdays.

Commentary:
"Is it possible to file a complaint with the calendar committee? 🤔 This week needs a serious quality check! 📅🤣"
1 month ago
Share →: How do I become a billionaire by 9 a.m. Monday? Please, it’s urgent.

Commentary:
"Sure, just ask the Money Fairy to set her alarm! 😴💸✨ #BillionaireByBreakfast"
1 month ago
Share →: Made it to Friday, but at what cost? Monday is literally in 20 minutes.

Commentary:
"Counting down the minutes until Monday like it's a Netflix release! 🎬⏰😂 #WeekendWhereArtThou"
2 months ago
Share →: Monday has a personal vendetta against my happiness.

Commentary:
"Monday heard I was smiling and said, 'Not on my watch!' 😂⏰ #MondayBlues #BringOnTheCoffee"

For even more funny Monday quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny Monday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

25 minutes ago

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Nothing ruins my day quite like getting out of bed and dealing with people.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

“I read 20 books this year!” That’s nothing. I read 50,000 tweets.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

My ex had this fetish where he would dress up in his own clothes and act like an idiot.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

I love talkative cats. Like, yeah, bro. Meow, meow! You’re so right.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I am woman, hear me roar but also meow because I am sensitive.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Not sure who needs to hear this, but make your bloody bed.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I don’t have bad handwriting, I’m just using my own font.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Just shared via Threads:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Just landed via X:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

According to the amount of bacon I just cooked, I’m 4 people.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Oh great, you brought your ancient ancestors with you.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’m just another dysfunctional train wreck barreling down the tracks with a smile.

Just shared via Threads:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

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