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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Some people are wise, some folks are otherwise.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

I don’t drink coffee all the time. I take breaks in between to make another one.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

I did vote once but only because I thought the line was to a buffet.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Watched Titanic for the 14th time. Still sobbing. Still yelling, “SCOOT OVER, COW!” like it’ll change the ending.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I keep all my valuables near the front door so if burglars breaks in during the night they will not wake me up.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Mashed potatoes are just German guacamole.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,386

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on TikTok:

As a child, my family’s mealtime menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Just shared via YouTube:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Genuinely nothing worse than going bowling with people who are actually good. Like, why are you doing all that?

Trending via WeChat:

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Making waves on TikTok:

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Both my wife and my doctor said no more jumping on the bed. But they don’t get it. They don’t know what it’s like to live with the Monkey Instinct.

Just shared via Discord:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Living la vida taco!

Just landed via Twitch:

I don’t make mistakes, I date them.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

88 Funny Monday quotes

Funny Monday quotes bring a light-hearted twist to the start of the workweek! 🗓️😂 From witty remarks about the challenges of getting back to work to playful takes on Monday’s unique vibe, these quotes capture the humor in facing a new week. Enjoy a laugh and start your Monday with a smile! 😄☕

New funny Monday quotes 👇

For even more funny Monday quotes, hit next 👇

All funny Monday quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Threads this month:

When they have a dream sequence in a movie, how do they film the person’s dream?

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Netflix has every movie except the one you want to watch.

19 shares on X this month:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

36 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The real anti-aging regimen is retaining your childlike wonder and whimsy.

34 shares on Discord this month:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

64 shares on Discord this month:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

10 shares on X this month:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

49 shares on X this month:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Karma not moving fast enough for me. I would hate to handle it myself, Lord.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Shazam, but for the name of the person who literally just introduced themself to me.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s like winter is mad and keeps storming out, then coming back yelling ‘and another thing!’

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a dirty mind and an innocent face is truly a blessing.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Buying new glasses this week, so a whole bunch of you are about to get a whole lot uglier.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Love Island is fun, but when is Job Island on?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” Oh, it’s ok, you can just kill me next time.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If someone else makes you a sandwich, it’s always better than if you do it yourself. It’s the same with sex.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

I bought a watermelon and all I can think about is filling it with vodka.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Twitter is basically like a mental institution where everyone thinks they’re the sane one, and everybody else is crazy.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’ve never been kissed under the cameltoe or whatever it’s called.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Every year I realize how dumb I was a year ago.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Your honor, my client wasn’t trying to stab the victim. He was checking to see if he was cake.

Just shared via TikTok:

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

Going bananas on Threads:

You can say “Have a nice day,” no problem, but saying “Enjoy the next 24 hours” sounds vaguely threatening.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I could never be in the mafia, those guys stay up way to late.

Trending via Pinterest:

Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Trending via TikTok:

“I’m currently not accepting new items on my to-do list.”

Just landed via Twitch:

How do I gracefully leave this party early but also take the queso dip with me?

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