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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

My family was too poor for a gene pool, so we soaked our genes in rye whiskey.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Now if you’ll excuse me, today’s bad decisions aren’t going to make themselves.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

This gratitude journal looks a lot like a grocery list.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

You know who’s gonna love you in the end? Your dog.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Remember, for some unknown reason Santa doesn’t make batteries.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

The main reason for stress is the daily contact with idiots.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

Is he trying to pronounce “charcuterie” or is he having a stroke?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,609

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

The only thing that could heal me is a memory loss.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Twitter is where the broken, the used, the fighters, and the lovers gather to appreciate the twisted beauty in one another.

Just landed via Messenger:

Whoever has designed parking garages is either an architectural genius or an evil sadist.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My life is a movie, and it has a 47% on Rotten Tomatoes.

Shared recently on Messenger:

“Are you busy tomorrow?” My dear, that entirely depends on the rest of the information you’re about to give me.

Just landed via WeChat:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve had enough. I’m ready to spend an eternity in the arms of my lover.

Funny monthly quotes

Funny monthly quotes bring a burst of laughter and good vibes to every page of your calendar 📅😂. Whether you’re tackling Monday blues or celebrating Friday feels, these witty gems keep your spirits high all month long 🎉😎. Perfect for sharing, saving, or just brightening your day, they turn ordinary days into unforgettable moments of joy ✨🤣. Ready to smile your way through the weeks? Let the fun begin! 🎈💬

New funny monthly quotes 👇

All funny monthly quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

43 shares on Threads this month:

The real flex is how many wounds you can turn into wisdom.

47 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

70 shares on Twitch this month:

I need something good to watch while I’m on my phone.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

When I’m drafting a legal document, I’ll sprinkle the word “herein” all over that thing like it’s paprika.

89 shares on Slack this month:

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

65 shares on X this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

If you talk about astrology, and no one stops you, it means you must be incredibly pretty.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Them: You post a lot. What am I supposed to do here – fold laundry on the timeline?

86 shares on TikTok this month:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I made some bad choices in life, but I never bought a pair of Crocs.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I think I’m cooked, God moves mountains for me. That’s so nice of Him.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,469

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

Some people are living bowel movement to bowel movement.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

If Pokémon were real, state fairs would serve them deep fried on a stick.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts. It’s called: “Leave me the fuh cologne”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Just landed via TikTok:

I don’t want to sound controversial, but having Monday off is great. We should do this every week.

Just shared via Reddit:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m pretty sure by now that we’re some kind of satire channel on some other planet.

Just landed via Threads:

Guys only want one thing and it’s my grandmother’s meatball recipe.

Going viral on Snapchat:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

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