Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Throwing a spear at your enemy is a bad gamble. If you miss, you have no spear now and he’s just fine. He’s better than fine; now he has a spear.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

My head is starting to get dented from hitting rock bottom so often.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

I am a person who wants to get a lot done, trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep in and take naps at times.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

If you see my account doing wild or out-of-character things, no worries. It’s not me, I routinely rent it out as an Airbnb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,930

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I enjoy excess, but only in moderation.

Making waves on Slack:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Shared recently on WeChat:

My dog understands several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Throwing someone under the bus sounds hard, let’s just sell ’em down the river and call it a day.

Just landed via Threads:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Trending via Messenger:

After having a week off, my boss returns to work today. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Home » Funny Number Quotes » Page 5

46 Funny number quotes

More funny number quotes 👇

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, humor, i, just, number, older
I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

0

2 months ago

aging, faster, humor, i, know, lesson, life, life lesson, line, much, number, older, patience, things, wait, waiting, zero
Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

0

3 months ago

bigger, business, congrats, deadline, even, fired, firing, hitting, humor, missing, number, numbers, performance, pressure, q3, Q3 number, q4, Q4 number, work
Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

0

3 months ago

actually, answering, answering phone, anxiety, call, Googling, habit, humor, modern, modern habit, number, numbers, phone, phone anxiety, phone number, procrastination, technology
How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

0

5 months ago

aging, brain, forgetfulness, humor, memory, nostalgia, number, numbers, phone, phone number, remember, same, used
If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

0

5 months ago

evil, humor, joke, math, number, pun, root

For even more funny number quotes, hit next 👇

All funny number quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Threads this month:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

93 shares on TikTok this month:

YOLO because stupid people don’t know what Carpe Diem means.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans don’t fit any more.

34 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

35 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

30 shares on Threads this month:

It’s obvious now that democracy is a busted flush and that in future politicians should be selected via several rigorous rounds of Taskmaster.

51 shares on Facebook this month:

Curious that talented athletes frequently credit God when they win, but we rarely see them blame God when they lose.

87 shares on Pinterest this month:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

65 shares on X this month:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

35 shares on WeChat this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

When a woman texts you three questions, you should only answer one. She will love that.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Tonight I wanted to stop drinking but then I remembered the owner of the pub has a family to feed.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, ‘What the hell are you doing?’

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

New COVID variant tries to sell you an extended auto warranty.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a jacuzzi.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Parenting sometimes feels like you’re an elevator. Lots of ups and downs and the kids love to push your buttons.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Manipulative birthday text to an ex idea: thank you for loving me briefly in the way that only you could.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Live now on Telegram:

I’m delusional but self-aware, I call that Delaware.

Shared recently on Discord:

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Making waves on Threads:

Dollar Tree needs to just go ahead and rename it to A Couple Dollars.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

46 Funny number quotes

More funny number quotes 👇

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

All funny number quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨