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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

Home is where you trust the toilet seat.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Remember, when asking for a raise, it is considered customary to be sober.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Never say never. Unless someone asks you when you want to go camping. Then the right answer is always “Never.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Let’s hope those bridges you burn keep you warm at night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a kid that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

Just landed via TikTok:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Trending via Threads:

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Shared recently on Facebook:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

Live now on YouTube:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If “live each day as if it’s your last” means being paralyzed with anxiety and a sense of impending doom, then I am absolutely nailing it.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Never cry at the weekend. Cry at work, at least then you’ll get paid for it.

Just landed via TikTok:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

771 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,933

Funny Quotes Topics

13,906

Funny Quotes Images

10,933

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

They should combine the running of the bulls with Tour de France next year.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

If Facebook has taught us anything it’s that a lot of people aren’t quite ready for a spelling bee.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

I’m clumsy but there are upsides. For example, if I finish my chips and I’m sad there’s no more chips, I look in my lap and I always find chips.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

“This isn’t going to end well for you.” Me, alone in the house, to the cake on the counter.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Your Starbucks order leads me to believe that you’re very difficult to deal with.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Seen just now on YouTube:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Shared recently on Threads:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Trending via Threads:

Until I open the wrapper and look inside it’s Schrödinger’s Kit Kat.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

The sun really clocks out for the day before I do. That’s insane.

Going viral on Telegram:

I watched a woman clean her whole house on YouTube today, in case you thought I lacked ambition.

Spotted on Messenger:

Whenever a study shows excessive screen time causes brain damage I’m like “yeah, me know”.

Trending via Discord:

The streets are not for me. I belong in an enchanted forest, eating berries, and talking to my animal friends.

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