Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has downloaded:

Special Offer: Save 100% when you don’t buy anything.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Have you tried complaining about it?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

44 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on X:

I sometimes have the desire to meet certain people again for the first time. Only to simply walk past them.

Trending via TikTok:

Always be kind. You never know who might own a hot tub.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Reported on Snapchat:

If someone asks you why you’re single, just answer with: “Got lucky.”

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Since there is only one of me, does that make me limited edition?

Making waves on Twitch:

People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.

Just landed via Threads:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Plot Twist: Your taxes cheated on you.

Trending via Snapchat:

Did 900 crunches today. It was a bag of Cheetos, but still.

Home » Funny Owner Quotes » Page 2

11 Funny owner quotes

More funny owner quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: When I take a walk, I bring dog treats and people treats. I almost never mix them up.

Commentary:
"Taking a stroll equipped with both dog treats and people treats? 🐶🍬 Better watch out for those mix-ups! One accidental snack swap could lead to some very confused (and possibly offended) companions. Stay vigilant, treat distributor extraordinaire!"

For even more funny owner quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny owner quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

774 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,936

Funny Quotes Topics

13,910

Funny Quotes Images

10,936

44 minutes ago

3,425

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

I don’t simply want to kill a mosquito; I want to bite them back over and over to make them itch.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

Seeing people exercising outside my house really motivated me to get up and close the blinds.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

My wife just admitted a mistake. What do I have to do now? What does this mean for my future? Help me!

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

This gum has my stomach convinced food is coming.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I’m giving up eating chocolate for a month. Sorry, bad punctuation. I’m giving up. Eating chocolate for a month.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Funny thing about zombie movies – they never seem to go after the cameraman.

Live now on Twitch:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Spotted on Instagram:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Spotted on TikTok:

The possibility of monsters residing underneath your bed is negated when the mattress is positioned on the floor.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Carefully choosing which wine to pair with a McRib.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I want a pet eagle that’s trained to steal people’s sandwiches for me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Politics top tip: Gain people’s trust by telling them that everyone is lying to them.

Trending via YouTube:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴