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40 Funny pay quotes

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You get what you pay for. Unless the delivery man leaves it on your doorstep. Then the fastest person on your street gets what you paid for.
Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.
The worst part about borrowing money is having to pay it back or move to a new city.
I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.
The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

More funny pay quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

Commentary:
"A micromanager is like a gardener who trims away all the flowers and wonders why the garden looks bare 🌸🌿 Don't be surprised if your top talent decides to take a stroll to a more welcoming garden! 🚶‍♂️💼"
5 months ago
Share →: Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Commentary:
"Who needs camping when you have a cozy mortgage to keep you sheltered and warm? 💁‍♂️🏡 #IndoorisLife"
5 months ago
Share →: I don’t think either person should pay for the first date. It should be on the house.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic dilemma of who foots the bill on the first date 🤔 Maybe we should just all agree to let the house cover it and avoid the awkward wallet dance 💁‍♂️🏡 Who knew real estate could be such a matchmaker? 😂 #DateNightOnTheHouse"
5 months ago
Share →: Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic Catch-22 situation in its purest form! 🤔💸 It's like a literary standoff where neither party wants to make the first move. 📚💰 Here's hoping this dilemma doesn't turn into a sequel: Catch-23 – The Neverending Transaction Saga! 😂🔄"
5 months ago
Share →: The only thing that has grown faster than rents in recent years is the overtime we have to work to pay them.

Commentary:
"Rent keeps going up faster than my hopes of ever having a work-life balance 🏠💸🕰️ #RentIsTooHighButSoAreMyHopes"
5 months ago
Share →: I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Commentary:
"Ah, the joys of biweekly pay – turning paper towels into quesadillas is the ultimate budget-friendly lunch hack! 🌯💸 Who needs real ingredients when you've got creativity and perseverance, am I right? 😄 #PaperTowelCookingMaster"
5 months ago
Share →: Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of outstanding bills and outstanding sarcasm! 🤣 Maybe we should start sending our doctors some invoices for their outstanding patience and sense of humor! 💸😜"
5 months ago
Share →: I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Commentary:
🍷🐱 "I admire this ambitious cat who is determined to become a connoisseur of fine wines! It's purr-fectly logical – let her sniff, swirl, and sip her way to a sommelier career! Who knows, maybe one day she'll be the one bringing home the bacon… or should I say bringing home the chardon-meow! 😸🍷"
5 months ago
Share →: A tip for your next salary negotiation: simply tell your boss “either I get a pay rise or I go out and tell everyone I got one!”

Commentary:
"Brilliant idea! Nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to spice up a salary negotiation! 💸😂 Just remember to wink and chuckle for extra impact! 😉 #NegotiationSkills"
5 months ago
Share →: My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Commentary:
"Who needs a therapist when you have a generous employer like that? 🤑 Say goodbye to those expensive coping mechanisms and hello to financial stability! 💸 #EmployerGoals"