Commentary:
Dream job: unpaid nap intern 😴💤🛌 #Goals
641 Funny procrastination quotes
Can someone come over and take this phone away from me?
Commentary:
Sounds like a job for the Phone-nappers! 📱🕵️♂️🚨
I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir
Commentary:
"Ah, the true 'tinkle of regret'—a bestseller on my life shelf! 🚽📚😂"
If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.
Commentary:
"Oops, my bad! Turns out my 'goodnight' had a snooze button! 😴🔄🤣"
Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.
Commentary:
"Decisions, decisions… Looks like my to-do list just got a plot twist! 📚🍕🧽 #Priorities"
I don’t run from my problems. I sit on my couch, play on my phone, and ignore them like all other adults.
Commentary:
"Finally, a workout routine I can stick to! 🛋️📱💤 #ProcrastinationChampion"
The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.
Commentary:
Sounds like my kind of workout: a mental marathon where I cheer myself on from the couch! 🛋️💪😴
“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.
Commentary:
"Spilled my drink? 'But it's summer! 😅🍹' Lost an argument? 'But it's summer! 🤷♂️☀️' Tripped over my own feet? You guessed it… 'But it's summer! 🕶️👟'"
The earlier you wake up, the more time you have to think about why you wish you were still asleep in bed.
Commentary:
"When the snooze button and I have a toxic relationship. 🛌⏰😂"
Sorry, I’m late. Time isn’t real, and I’m not convinced I am either.
Commentary:
"Finally embraced my inner unicorn on 'imaginary time,' but I couldn't make the meeting… or did I? 🦄⏰✨"