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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

It’s almost impossible to talk to a girl without flirting with her.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

Menstruation is bizarre. It’s like something David Lynch would have came up with.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Having children is a pyramid scheme.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

If an alien is 60 million light years away and is watching us through a telescope, it will see dinosaurs.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Children are so giving. For example, my kids gave me a cold.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

After hearing that I have too many books and too many bookshelves, I’ve decided to cut back on the amount of people I listen to.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

You honestly gotta believe in yourself so much that it’s borderline delusional.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,380

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Going viral on Pinterest:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I just cleaned the house top to bottom, so now I’m gonna need everybody to stop living here.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

Breaking via TikTok:

Tested positive for being single af

Just shared via Twitch:

Farmers markets should be for vegetables — not for millennials unloading their failed Etsy-store arts and crafts.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

18 Funny randomness quotes

Funny randomness quotes are the perfect sprinkle of unexpected humor 🌟 that brighten your day when you least expect it 😂. Whether you need a quick laugh 🤪 or a quirky twist to your feed, these gems keep life delightfully unpredictable 🎉. Get ready to embrace the silly side of life with a burst of joyful nonsense that’ll have you smiling in no time! 😜✨

New funny randomness quotes 👇

I don’t want to adult anymore. Don’t even want to be human. I want to be a goat. Jump around randomly, eat what I want, and head-butt anyone who annoys me.

0

2 months ago

activity, adult, animal, anyone, around, eat, even, fun, fun activity, goat, human, humor, i, independence, jump, me, randomness, rebellion, relief, stress, stress relief, want
I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

0

2 months ago

awakening, day, explain, food, humor, i, just, preference, quirky, randomness, surprise, taste, unexpected, wake, works
The world is my ostrich, or whatever.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, humor, playful, randomness, sarcasm, whatever, whimsical, world
Randomly hearing your favorite song is more satisfying than putting it on yourself.

0

2 months ago

experience, favorite, hearing, joy, music, putting, randomness, satisfaction, song, surprise, yourself
Maybe I prefer my ducks scattered about.

0

2 months ago

duck, fun, humor, i, maybe, preference, quirky, randomness, scattered
New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

0

2 months ago

commentary, Covid, humor, new, podcast, quarantine, randomness, social, social commentary, subscription, variant
What if your dog one day just randomly said “Nobody is going to believe you” and never spoke again.

0

2 months ago

again, believe, conversation, day, dog, going, humor, just, never, nobody, pet, randomness, surprise
I identify as a weather forecast: Anything’s possible.

0

2 months ago

forecast, humor, i, identify, identity, possibility, randomness, weather
Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

0

2 months ago

delicious, fly, frog, funny tweet, humor, i, media, much, randomness, social, social media, sucks, tweet, Tweets, Twitter, wait, waiting
My mood is currently on “shuffle”.

0

2 months ago

emotions, humor, mood, music, randomness, shuffle

For even more funny randomness quotes, hit next 👇

All funny randomness quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I only look up to people that are taller than me and really that’s about the extent of it.

19 shares on WeChat this month:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

73 shares on Instagram this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

78 shares on Threads this month:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

77 shares on X this month:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

61 shares on Discord this month:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

72 shares on Threads this month:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry about all of the correct stuff I said when I was right.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Jesus spent his time among the mentally ill, the poor and unemployed, the prostitutes. So, in a way, by being on Twitter, we’re like Jesus.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How does pasta water know when you’re not looking?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

At some point, I need to admit my ‘guilty pleasure’ music taste is just my music taste now.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

That gap between Christmas and New Year’s when you can’t tell what day of the week it is.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

And now begins the yearly tradition of writing the incorrect year on everything, for the next 3 months.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,388

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

They should make a separate airport for people who know how to act like they’ve been out in public before.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Weight gain makes me sad. Luckily, eating cheers me right back up.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

I’m sorry for setting the impossible standards that the rest of you try to live up to.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I think my dad just eradicated a small village with his sneeze.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Just landed via Slack:

I love saying “why would I lie” when I’m lying.

Just shared via Telegram:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Going bananas on Reddit:

My dog just looked me in the eye and said “no one is gonna believe you”, then took a nap.

Live now on Twitch:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Spotted on Twitch:

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Making waves on Facebook:

Being a little freak is my love language.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

Going viral on Reddit:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

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